** Fifteen **

it's been days since i blogged

yeah yeah...i've got complaints on why i dont update

xD my apologies!!!!

well...life has been hectic in a way

first it was choral speaking

then it was POTO

and now i have "stuff" to handle

i used to be dying to get to class

and get my homework so i dont get left out

and now...

i caught the L.A.Z.Y sickness

i did try...

but im just way too tired out

first off...

I CANNOT WALK IN HEELS

its just not me...xD

besides i ain't exactly the kinda girl that's all lady-like and stuff

i'm more of the slouch when you sit kinda person

******************

so today POTO had a full dress rehearsal...

and duh i had to wear the dress

and the shoes

everything!!!

more or less the dress was HOT

and not in a good way

i was practically sweating inside the bloody thing

damn it!!!

and my heels!!!

owh my poor feet hurt so bad...><

i can barely walk after the entire ordeal...

practically i was limping like some retard

gosh...it was such a long wait actually...

so...hehehe

we, masqueradies , decide to bring

F

O

O

D

don't get me wrong...if we had other things to do we would

but...

since they wanted us to SHUT UP

so we eat...xD

the poor masqueradies can't exactly play a game or something

it'll make way too much noise

especially when we get carries away

[ this goes to me heh ]

my fan broke today

hell yeah i suffered

and we had to sing...yeah...that's some rain dance ritual we were doing

hahahahahaha

i guess i have to learn the lyrics then

i was actually just gonna "watermelon" it out

guess THAT didn't turn out so well...

my feet are still sore...

and for goodness sake man!!!

how can you squeeze all the masqueradies in a room

with no air-cond

it's bad enough our dresses are extremely well heat conductors

and all you're gonna do is put a

freaking FAN in the room

and you expect us to sit still

dont move

dont make a sound

dont do anything

AT ALL

haha...dream onnnn~

i know i will never be able to accomplish THAT

****************************************

i wonder why

sometimes i feel just so aggravated about everything

sometimes i feel so happy about everything

sometimes i feel everything i'm doing is stupid

sometime i feel the need to be silent

and these are the times people tend to get on my nerves

when i'm pissed off and YOU know it

DON'T bug me

when i'm happy and YOU know it

we can do the hokey pokey...

no problemo xD

when i'm feeling stupid and YOU kow it

DEAL with it

or

leave me ALONE

when i DON'T want to talk and YOU know it

DONT TALK TO ME

ishhhhh...

tsk tsk tsk you people...

don't you know how to read faces

mine's one of the easiest to read

and yet you people can still get on my nerves

and dont know when to duck and hide

and run for cover

my goodness...

you people need therapy

or maybe it's ME who needs therapy...xD

***************

i'm a bit confused lately

like nothing i do made any sense

i'll turn on the tv

after few seconds i'll ask myself

"why the hell did i turn on the tv?!"

i'd find myself walking to the kicthen to get a snack

and once it's in my hands

i go

"why the hell did i take this?!"

and i put it back

i miss basketball a lot...

since my mum doesn't let me go anywhere near one

and i dont own one

i kinda have to just let the love for it fade

i guess...

gosh...i talk about my mum a lot in my posts...

argh...damn it

*********************

ahhhhhh...you people should STOP asking me about my past

erm...

"relationships"

so after this...dont ask me EVER again...

my first so called "boyfriend" was in form1

Brandon something something [not that i cared anymore ]

actually it was more like getting together

for the sake of it..

but seriously he was sweet in a way...

WAS

well...he sang to me on my birthday

which didn't sound bad at all

it was actually really good

but ahhhh...

it ended...blah!!!

i cried for a bit....and was left traumatised for the rest of year

before i could get back on my feet...

i am thankful for all my friends who stood by me...^^

then the next one was after PMR

around November

nice guy...

met him in tuition...

found out he was my childhood friend...*gasps*

well...we chatted for quite a while back...

and he "proposed" on webcam one night

don't ask...

we just have this knack for scribbling and showing to one another on webcam...

and this is the part where all the readers go

"awwww...that's so cuteeeee" [swt~]

anyway...i said okay...[WTH did i do THAT for?!]

then he kinda acted like nothing happened the next day we chatted

and then that bloody guy told me to forget it

and he gave all sorts of reasons

saying he wasn't himself la that night

saying he had a bad day cuz he just broke up with his recent gf

saying he drank too much that night to think straight

i swear to god...if he does fuck up another lie...i'll.....

so it was a mix of anger and sadness all in one..

i think his name was ...

Justin...?

Jeremy...?

or something...?

ahhh....alll i know is it starts with a 'J'

and now...i am at PEACE

no more boyfriends

no more feelings

no more sadness

no more disappointment

no more nightmares

no more regret

no more hurt

no more pain

no more goodbyes

no more