20 June 2008

** Fifteen **

it's been days since i blogged
yeah yeah...i've got complaints on why i dont update
xD my apologies!!!!
well...life has been hectic in a way
first it was choral speaking
then it was POTO
and now i have "stuff" to handle
i used to be dying to get to class
and get my homework so i dont get left out
and now...
i caught the L.A.Z.Y sickness
i did try...
but im just way too tired out
first off...
its just not me...xD
besides i ain't exactly the kinda girl that's all lady-like and stuff
i'm more of the slouch when you sit kinda person
so today POTO had a full dress rehearsal...
and duh i had to wear the dress
and the shoes
more or less the dress was HOT
and not in a good way
i was practically sweating inside the bloody thing
damn it!!!
and my heels!!!
owh my poor feet hurt so bad...><
i can barely walk after the entire ordeal...
practically i was limping like some retard
gosh...it was such a long wait actually...
we, masqueradies , decide to bring
don't get me wrong...if we had other things to do we would
since they wanted us to SHUT UP
so we eat...xD
the poor masqueradies can't exactly play a game or something
it'll make way too much noise
especially when we get carries away
[ this goes to me heh ]
my fan broke today
hell yeah i suffered
and we had to sing...yeah...that's some rain dance ritual we were doing
i guess i have to learn the lyrics then
i was actually just gonna "watermelon" it out
guess THAT didn't turn out so well...
my feet are still sore...
and for goodness sake man!!!
how can you squeeze all the masqueradies in a room
with no air-cond
it's bad enough our dresses are extremely well heat conductors
and all you're gonna do is put a
freaking FAN in the room
and you expect us to sit still
dont move
dont make a sound
dont do anything
haha...dream onnnn~
i know i will never be able to accomplish THAT
i wonder why
sometimes i feel just so aggravated about everything
sometimes i feel so happy about everything
sometimes i feel everything i'm doing is stupid
sometime i feel the need to be silent
and these are the times people tend to get on my nerves
when i'm pissed off and YOU know it
DON'T bug me
when i'm happy and YOU know it
we can do the hokey pokey...
no problemo xD
when i'm feeling stupid and YOU kow it
DEAL with it
leave me ALONE
when i DON'T want to talk and YOU know it
tsk tsk tsk you people...
don't you know how to read faces
mine's one of the easiest to read
and yet you people can still get on my nerves
and dont know when to duck and hide
and run for cover
my goodness...
you people need therapy
or maybe it's ME who needs therapy...xD
i'm a bit confused lately
like nothing i do made any sense
i'll turn on the tv
after few seconds i'll ask myself
"why the hell did i turn on the tv?!"
i'd find myself walking to the kicthen to get a snack
and once it's in my hands
i go
"why the hell did i take this?!"
and i put it back
i miss basketball a lot...
since my mum doesn't let me go anywhere near one
and i dont own one
i kinda have to just let the love for it fade
i guess...
gosh...i talk about my mum a lot in my posts...
argh...damn it
ahhhhhh...you people should STOP asking me about my past
so after this...dont ask me EVER again...
my first so called "boyfriend" was in form1
Brandon something something [not that i cared anymore ]
actually it was more like getting together
for the sake of it..
but seriously he was sweet in a way...
well...he sang to me on my birthday
which didn't sound bad at all
it was actually really good
but ahhhh...
it ended...blah!!!
i cried for a bit....and was left traumatised for the rest of year
before i could get back on my feet...
i am thankful for all my friends who stood by me...^^
then the next one was after PMR
around November
nice guy...
met him in tuition...
found out he was my childhood friend...*gasps*
well...we chatted for quite a while back...
and he "proposed" on webcam one night
don't ask...
we just have this knack for scribbling and showing to one another on webcam...
and this is the part where all the readers go
"awwww...that's so cuteeeee" [swt~]
anyway...i said okay...[WTH did i do THAT for?!]
then he kinda acted like nothing happened the next day we chatted
and then that bloody guy told me to forget it
and he gave all sorts of reasons
saying he wasn't himself la that night
saying he had a bad day cuz he just broke up with his recent gf
saying he drank too much that night to think straight
i swear to god...if he does fuck up another lie...i'll.....
so it was a mix of anger and sadness all in one..
i think his name was ...
or something...?
ahhh....alll i know is it starts with a 'J'
and now...i am at PEACE
no more boyfriends
no more feelings
no more sadness
no more disappointment
no more nightmares
no more regret
no more hurt
no more pain
no more goodbyes
no more

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