31 July 2008

And she's back!! Causing mayhem everywhere she goes!! So today was very extremely tiring. Well school was okay since i had to miss class but turns out we came back early so i didn have my books. Haven't checked on hw. I don't think i will.
guys really can be real losers sometimes.i mean.lame.lol.one way or another.so i went for de weigh in.watever its called.sitting there.getting scared looking at all de competition.i was really scared.anyway.i guess i met.no.not met.saw.Passerby.i think.no.more like he saw me.dunno la.no offence Passerby.but really.sometimes it's just easier to walk up n say hi.it's not like i'm gonna give u a punch in de face.instead of taking unwanted trips to de toilet jus to pass infront of me.really.first of all no one goes to de toilet n comes right out.lol.u smile i smile.fine.n how long did it take for u n ur pals to get together that silly act.ok so u might say i'm watching u.Heck!!u guys were pushing n screaming n shouting at each other.n u expect me not to know?!intentional much?!n de silliest thing u could possibly do.wait at de door.whilst i enter u whisper a silent hi.i turn u aint there.wat de crap la.i don't mean to diss u in anyway.seriously i don't understand de things u guys do.i mean.u guys know it's lame n yet u guys do it.u aint getting anything out of it.i'll ignore de fact u keep passing by n staring.lol.nowonder ur name's Passerby.so that's that.the end.*pours ice on Hydde*
so.a different section of my life.somehow i feel as if i'm gonna be beaten up on saturday.that's a sure thing.then again.i should at least give it my all.try my best.n if it doesn work out.i'll train for next year.so stayed back today.practised.practised.practised.that's all i could say.a round of training wit Leava.madness.i dun even know how to respond.damn it!!i'll be happy enough to come back wit something.x3.so i'll be writin my will tomorrow.just in case i die on saturday.lol.ahhh.first time go competition.i really do hope my parents come.see their daughter get beaten up.lol.Hydde u can come too.but this time tell me.so there goes the rachel everyone once knew.Hahaha.
okay.fuh.many things to say.jamc.another scary thing.well at least i am doing it wit Joshua.who currently claims tat he's my one n only gay friend.thrust me.he is gay.in a funny awkward way.so Joshua's a real life saver.our collaboration is complete.perfection.my solo.is a different story.lol.wat am i gonna wear man!!gosh.i'm being such a girl.ok so this one's next week.after a beating.i go for this.x3.so if something were to happen.Joshua will have to play de electone n de piano.wow.u do that dude.no one ill care if ur gay anymore.x3.lol.i know everyone taking part wants to win.but there can only be one winner.i wanna get best showmanship.heh.others all i know won't get.maybe we'll win for best collaborate composition.who knows.hehe.how optimistic.
so this is about a 5000characters post.cuz my phone only allows that much.n i know it's still a lot to read.yea plenty complain i write too much.so now i'm tired.jus finished my shower.waiting for my hair to dry. Doing some push ups later.den up n down de stairs doing my knee lift.n after that some sit ups.nahh...skipping is better.that is if i still have time.anyone wants to go see avril wit me?? ^^

30 July 2008

so today i came back mad.
pissed off even.
today rachel got an offence slip!!!
i got 4 in 1
hair not clipped
long nails
conteng tangan
WTF right?!?!?!
yeah...big wow-er rachel ain't a schoolrule abiding student
puhleezzee la...
then there's the lecture i got
saying i'm not honest with myself
wat kinda crap are you teacher's throw at us students man...!!!
so yay!!! i got offence...
i was pissed off at the teacher
i was pissed off at the prefect
i was pissed off at the school
seriously these are the days i really want to get out of this stupid school
so i cut my own hair today
fringe tak seimbang but who cares
i cut until cannot tie anymore
or at least no need to tie
so that's how much hair i cut off...
i need to trim my fringe a bit more later
tomorrow not gonna be in class woots!!!!!
and and and!!!
ahhhhh....*runs in a circle*
ok ok..lax rachel..you can do it!!! xD
im proud of myself
cuz i finally got it!!!!!
so syok now play that part...
paling bersemangat punye...
my last piece of almost done...xD
thanks to no one but me
no time no time
today in school hor
PnOng hor
suddenly hor
then as usual la majority of the class din do...
MSN got problem...trying to sign in but cannot...
damn u MSN!!!
AVRIL IS COMING TO TOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hitz.fm got competition
win fendy guitar autographed by her!!!
DAMN I WANT!!!!!!!!!
what a spoilt brat.....xD

including me..xD
so she's a bit pissed off
but i dont blame her...
even i would be pissed off...
so she asked for Add.Math2 today Chapter6's work
well...i had to do all
starting from 6.1 all the way to 6.6 and chapter review
so tension all
lawls...xD but i finished anyway...xD
yay me!!!
now to complete MORAL
and then my SEJARAH NOTES
homework homework
i can't wait for all this hectic-ness to end...
i need some time to breath...
so tired yesterday man
not enough sleep
today come home cut hair take bath sleep..
so now homework oso havent do
i blog liao...xD
so i sit now...burning some time
wasting it away
while i could be doing something USEFUL
i think i need to be
i think i need to change
i think i need to justify
what am i
what am i gonna do with my life
i'm an ambitionnless person
so really when people ask me what am i gonna do with my life
the only thing you're gonna get is "I dunno."
i guess i'll just let the chips fall where they may
im not in a hurry to make a choice anyway
there's plenty of things i can do
i could do music if i wanted
i could do art if i wanted
i could go into journalism if i wanted
or i could just go to one of the science related
everything is just whether i want or not
and right now..
i dont know exactly what i want...

29 July 2008


today is the 29th of july
im not exactly a person who does this thing
but under the constant bugging of you-know-who
i have to....xD
so its 2 months...
really im really NOT the person to do this....
but constantly im a real happy person these past few days
so it's a wow-er for me
maybe i've changed for the better...xD yeah right...
when i'm free-er i'll do my blog...
get the skin to my liking...
heh...i've learnt...
here's a little something for today
done today finished today

Taekwondo comp this saturday
scared scared
worried la...
lawls im a bit paranoid at the moment...
jamc oso coming up....
damn it....
i really cant wait for all of it to be over....
so i aint bloggingthat much nowadays..
got losta things to do
so little time
owh yeah
4sc1 has a new thing...xD
dont we always..
Need of
more or less it's from one of our teacher's stories..
but now it's 4sc1's thing....xD
man....i was thinking of having the entire 4sc1 over at my place again
hang out...
play some BurnOut....xD
watch tv....
talk talk talk...heh
eat snacks...
play the guitar...xD
maybe after the examinations i can have one
owh...and the print for OUR shirt...
me mum knows wher to do it...
i think it's roughly less then 10bucks...xD
i dont know...
she knows that guy so i guess she can get summore discount
if we're printing 33 shirts...
huaaaahhhh...save $$$

26 July 2008

i flew a kite today!!!
for the very FIRST time in my life
i flew a kite!!!
see see...my kite's the highest!!! xD
okay so maybe i'm a bit jakoon ish...
but i flew a kite!!!
im so proud of myself...=3
well i did have help getting it up
heh...hopeless me...
cannot get the kite to fly at first
it aint easy!!!!
as usual i'll be doing something stupid
so here it is
i was on the scooter
riding like the wind...[kononnya la...]
round and round
and then i wondered why i didnt go over the squared holes
like small barred long kangs
dunno why
but i like to feel surfaces under the wheel
so i nicely
riding so fast
went over one
wheel got stuck
i was thrown in front
roll roll roll
and i just went "WOW"
and started laughing
it's like in the cartoons where the character's riding
bike , scooter , skateboard , etc
rock on the floor
then the character goes rolling
yeah it was like THAT
just that i didnt roll that much
but it was an AWESOME feeling!!!
i'm gonna do it again!!!!!
then i had ice cream
as you can see...

it's a must have la...
then i began drizzling
so mummy siad "time to go home"
so we all went home

The gorgeous shells
picked by Hydde..
toldya i'd be taking pictures of it..
well theres plenty really but i just didn have time to upload all!!!

my dad came back from Bangkok today!!!

so the above is what he bought for me and my sis
well my sister's one is the one with the bag
mine's the triangular one...
sadly mine's got no bag...
but it's still frreaking awesome!!!!
today's an awesome day all in all
i've got a guitar!!!
a miniature guitar!!!!
bangga nya~

so a short post today
for a long long post i had yesterday
i had an awesome day!!! =)


25 July 2008

no sir
i dont wanna be the blame
not anymore
it's your turn
so take a seat for settling the final score
why do we like to hurt so much
why all the possibilities
and i was wrong
i drowned out all my sense away
with the sound of this beat
i've brunt every bridge i ever built
when you're not here

truthfully i feel really HAPPY
well...i'll just get to the story telling
no crappy feelings today!!
i feel awesome...xD
Hydde came back today from London!!!!!!! [ i'll be using 'H' later in this post]
well after practise with Joshua, my owh so very gay pal
i had him fetch me to KLIA...arigatou Joshua!!!!
well i had to wait for one two minutes or so
but seriously....somehow it didn't matter?!?! [wow rachel...whats wrong wif u]
ok..ok...stop crapping..
tell story...
actually i sat on the floor waiting
what to do...floor so cold...so nice
the my phone rang...guess who....xD
over excited la u rachel...
okok...faster type type

H: hey! hey! missed me?!?!
R: Hie!!!! dunno....you guess leh?!?!?!
H: hahaha where r ya?
H: lol. ding dong...i know la KLIA...WHERE KLIA?!
R: sitting on the floor...
H: floor so big...wher lehhh....
R: hehe...u asking me ar...er...
H: Want McFlurry?!
R: YESHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
H: come McDonald...
R: orh...er...ok...
H: can or not....
R: dunno la...lol...i so useless
H: no la...er...dont tell me u directory oso dunno wher ar?
R: ok i wont tell you
H: Aiyooooooooooooo
R: aiya i'll find la...might take sometime tho...
H: hahaha...i know it will...i got all the time in the world...

then rachel blur blur walk here walk there
like sakaii liddat
like kambing masuk bandar liddat
lost pig in KLIA!!! xD
then smart ass rachel went to one of the shops
and asked
and i found McDonald's!!!!!!!
lalalala *claps*

rachel!!!! *hugs* :H
okay...can't breath~:R
where's my hug?!:H
just now u not hug me ade ar?!?!:R
that one i hug u ma....:H
orh..hug u back lorh...*hugs*:R
lol...not happy ar?!:H
no lo...weird weird abit nia...:R
*ruffles hair* get used to it lorhhh..=):H
oO...what patience?!?!:H
dunno...*tersenyum lebar*:R
forgetting something?!?!:R
owh yeah...Coke or mcFlurry?:H
WAH!!! why liddat wan....both can mah?:R
*shakes head* no only one...:H
eyyyerrrr..come back bullying me liao...:R
or liddat la...we go dinner bah...i hungry la..but i dun wan McD:H
i eat ade wor...:R
hmmphh...din wait for me...:H
people hungry la...wait til 8.45 i die of hunger liao la:R
aiyo...merajuk ade...:R
see see...ish ish...Hydde ar...:R
*pushes head* go away la u...:H
okay~ i go....:R
bye bye~:R
weiii ar.....your turn merajuk now issit?!:H
no lo. u ask me go mahhh:R
srry srry~ dont go kay...dont go...:H
bored la...:R
come la..show u something..*searches bag*:H

guess what...i got a whole bunch of shells
u know those tiny ones u get on the shores
those the tiny hermit crabs use
and it's not those normal ones
it's those really nice ones
^^ thankuuuuu~

H: dlm perjalanan balik i pergi pantai
R: mana ada pantai kat london
H: siape kata london?! x)
R: tipu...u beli kan?
H: aiyo...mana ada orang jual kecil kecil punye benda cam nie
R: who knows. orang tu despo kot
H: eh! u cakap i despo now ker?!
R: lol sendiri terasa...memangpun despo...xD
H: mana ada i despo
R: sebab nak cpl ngan i...u comfirm despo...
H: sejak biler...
R: sejak zaman batu lagi
H: tak la...best la b'sama u...
R: bodoh...
H: bodoh ape pulak!! u ni suke marah aku la.i nangis kang.
R: Lol...lain kali kite jumpa u pakai skirt i pakai pants
H: Bodoh!!!!
R: tengok u pun panggil i bodoh!!!
H: dua dua bodoh. kang best~! ^^

syok sia sit in limo!!!! xD
lol..i jakunn
haih what to do poor kid...
its like SO FREAKING AWESOME!!!!!!
so big~!!!!
GOT TV!!!!!
walau eh...

ooo...what's this...:R
drive car wan...:H
ok *starts game*:R
you sure u wanna play?! *sneers*:H
okay den..:H
ahhh...mamii ar....too fast!!! dunno how to drive!!:R
hahahahaha. toldya...:H
ok chg game *click*:R
hahaha...suit urself...:H
wahhh seh....OFF OFF!!! *hides*[Game:the ring]:R
told you not to simply press lor:H
*poke* as if i'd listen la...:R
*pokes* that's why i didn say anything...:H
tonigh cannot sleep ur fault:R
WAH! liddat oso can...:H
yeh..cuz u put that stupid game in the car:R
hahahaha...good la...:H
what good...:R
you still take this as a car...:H
then?! not car then what?! aeroplane ar?:R
owh yeah...u have to fetch me back by 10 somethingliddat:R
cannn...anything...i fecth u back bfor 10 la:H
good boy...*yawns*:R
lol 9 only n u sleepy ade...:H
im still a kid what...:R
u sleep in the car i kik u out wan ar...:H
WAH....so bad....:R
owh yeah...bfor i forget...sneeze pls..:H
ur "sister" say cute ma ur sneeze...:H

okay...my long post has gone over the limit...
i did try to cut...but there's too much to write..
so this is as much as i can cut...
dun believe as Hydde...
i cut A LOT ade..xD
for the record i reached home at bout 9.30 i think
mother didn ask
see see...i've been a real good girl...x3
tonight i'm gonna spend my night taking pictures of the shells


24 July 2008

something in me stings
then again
i cant do anyting about it
i talked to a friend today
about every lie i've told
about every sin i sinned
maybe i'll regret telling this friend all this one day
but for now
this friend is all i've got
cuz no one is willing to listen to what i have to say
my long life lies aren't that much of an interesting topic either
just shows how more naive i am right now
i sat down there crying myself out
pouring out every emotion left in me
every emotion burried for so long
and my friend just sat there listening
comforting, whispering words into my ear
my friend let me cry
didn't bother to hand me tissue
didn' bother to say "the past is the past"
i don't give a shit about those stuff
i find that when one is crying
all you can do is be by one's side
lend a shoulder to cry on
and just let one let it all out
what kind of bullshit are you people tyring to pull
crowding around
giving loads of tissue
patting the back
telling me "its ok" "everythings fine"
if everything was fine....
I WOULDN'T BE CRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so here's a big thanks to my awesome friend
for not being like MOST people i know
for just letting me cry myself out
for letting me drown my tears out
for silently sitting, hearing me sob
for being there for me
everyone has one of those days where
you just feel like
one of the reasons why i don't cry owh so very often
its cuz the people around never learn to shut up
i wanna cry in silence
and you people come and ask this ask that
asking makes me cry even more don't you think?!?!
it's like asking me to retell what just made me cry...
how intelligent....*ppfffttt*
maybe something happened today
that i don't really wanna talk about
sometimes i really sit down and ask myself
as i stare into the mirror
Kong Yee Rou...
Why are you just a student....
Why are you not bother to take part...
Why are you so "cin cai"...
Why aren't you serious about things...
Why aren't you holding any important post...
Why are you not bothered about your curicular...
Why are you so unknown...
Why are you so fugly...
Why can't you smile more...
Why are you so stupid...
Why are you so useless...
Why are you so forgetful...
Why do you keep "shapeshifting"...
Why are you so anti-social...
Why are you so friendless...
Why are you so rude at times...
Why are you so not creative...
whooooOOOoo...Tomorrow's friday!!!!!
the end of another week...
woah competition in one more week to go...
the world's gonna end in T-minus 10 seconds
okay...maybe a little too dramatic...
okay...before i die...
*clock frozen*
i'd like to thank my
damn why am i writting a thank you speech
i should be writing my will...
nvm la...
My Lame-o-meter has just reach it's max
trying to brush off the sadness so yeah
i'm being lame
i can't exactly sound happy tho i'm trying to
so here's where it ends for today...

23 July 2008

okay list of things to post today
P.S. i suffer frm STML so yeah i have to make a list before i forget
** Copy-Tards
** Met TheIvorySpeaks
** Taekwondo competition
** Weird Family gathering
** Other not so important stuff
first and foremost
i am from 4Sc1
proud and happy i'm in that class
as i recall....
everyone rolled their eyes...
when we went "SEMaNGaT"
when we did our motto
when we did out "4Sc1. WE ROCK"
when we started "KUNDEJEM"
and i bet they'd roll when did "FEELING" as well
and guess what?????
i dare point all ten fingers of mine
if i had more i'd point them too
and all ten toes of mine
at all the hypocrites
who dissed us
who hated us
who tried to bring us down
who were envious of our togetherness
the same group of "animals"
you "animals" must be SO lame
that you DONT even know how to start something on your own
and end up COPYING
the great 4Sc1
yeah we should be PROUD
these losers wanna achieve extreme awesomeness like US
but HELL NO man
this is COPYRIGHTED by 4Sc1
and shall be used by the KUNDEJEMS of 4Sc1 ONLY
you people [ok i shall not call u ppl animals. sounds harsh.]
can copy all you want
the entire school knows
4Sc1's symbol / motto
4Sc1's "APPLE"
4Sc1's FEELING [comming soon..xD]
4Sc1 started it all
jamc is in a weeks time...
well i asked my teacher and she gave an okay on teaming up
but she still inststed i did one on my own
well at least my work load has been reduced
TheIvorySpeaks aka Joshua Yew Ling Heng
sorry...i must write ur name...
cause i warned u i'd get ur full name even if u didnt tell me
it's real awesome working with him
[ do not misunderstand ]
so i'll shed some light on Joshua Yew Ling Heng
xD [ just to irritate him when he reads this ]
then get to jamc
Joshua Yew Ling Heng , 19
drummer / pianist
VERY tall [or maybe he's tall from where i stand]
to tell u the truth Joshua did most of the work
i just poked in here and there
yeah i know im useless
within ONE WEEK
Joshua had prepared drafts for the TWO of us
sorry dude....half the things u explained i didn't understand
and within the week
finished everything...
that was so very fast
*bows* thank you Joshua. thanks so much. *bows*
okay i still have to work on the gliding
there's one part i really like in Joshua's masterpiece
but it's so hard.......................><
i think even HE got frustrated trying to get me to do it right
play few keys
play summore
slam on chords
technically i get the chords all wrong
i a bit lambat so fingers oso lambat
once again...
*bows* Thank You Joshua *salute*
okay here come's the complaints
there is a diff between MSKL and BTC
besides the spelling
andrianna shouldn't have told me MSKL was harder than BTFC
bad andrianna!!! *slap*
now i even MORE scared
i've made a promise
that if i make it through MSKL
i will do BTC too
first time go for competition
crapper la you.....
i scared i kena belasah during sparing...><
dah lah i kecil....
so so so so so so so
i'm excited and scared
well if i dont do well this year there's always next year to try
it's worth the experience
as i've been avoiding the competition for the past few years
Master wants to send me but i said no
more or less cause i know i get stage fright
and get blank when i'm nervous
guess what?
i'm not 16 yet
i'll be like fighting with ppl 13 - 15 years strong
then it's now even worst.....><
kena belasah from ppl younger stronger than me
i'm not reall that naive
i know out there
there are people better than me
though Master says im good
i know there are plenty more ppl out there
that'll make me look like shit
curses...pessimist much?
so here goes nothing
i cross my fingers in coming back alive
hoping my face doesn't get damaged
praying i can still walk after it
call me paranoid
usually i dont post about fam gatherings
but this one just aint right
i went to my uncle's
had dinner
and as usual at these gatherings
i find myself going
"he's my cousins?"
"she's my cousins?"
"he's my uncle?
"she's my aunty?"
point is...i dont know MOST of the ppl related to me
so i met this cousin
listening to linkin park
drinking down coke
sitting on the swing in the playground
so i went around asking their names
just so my mum WONT complain aboiut me being anti-social again
so there's Earlwin , Alex , Joshua , Jia Chii etc etc etc
everytime it feels like the boys truely outnumber the girls in the gatherings
and they do actually
so i went to get more coke
saw Earlwin pouring, so i just held out my cup
malas punye org...so liddat lo...xD
nicely he pouring n smiling...oO'''
i suffer in family gatherings as there is NO ONE my age
i have VERY rude cousins [uncle i think] that call me in words they should'nt be calling me in
i have an aunty and uncle that are younger than me
go figure...
dying of boredom
lying on the one of the single sofas laid side by side
letting linkin park keep me company
out of no where
Earlwin came told me he didn't know i was his cousin so he was a bit shy
okay....i think i get it...and maybe i didnt
yet i just said i did...
he sat beside me
my head was at the arm rest of the two chairs
i might be thinking too much
but i felt him staring
he leans closer occasionally
pinch me sometimes
mostly staring
which i find very weird
when i stared back he smiles
fineeeeeee...weird ppl...
so i ignore the fact he stared like hell
then he asked if i had a boyfriend.....
WTF...since when does your cousin ask u that?!?!
unless youre really close to them la
asked for my number
well...he's my cousin....
what harm can he do....xD
leaving time...
i figured why he didnt say goodbye to my sister
he only said good bye to me....
okay rachel...thinking too much...
my past isnt much to look up to
really it isn't
the amount of lie and tragedies i've caused
the amount of sins i've commited
the heap of people i've hurt
knowingly and unknowingly
the heap of people that have hurt me
knowingly and unknowingly
the consumation of my own memories
i might try to start again
bit they still live in me
they're painted in black and white
sometimes i really figured
that life isn't much of what most people say is worth the battle
between the good and the bad
between the worthy and the unworthy
between the sucessful and the unsucessful
between the failure and the achievement
between the right and the wrong
between the saints and the sinners
between the villians and the superheroes
so some names that DO bring back memories
names that brought back the sorrows
adn yet somehow there's just a bit of
" i-dont-really-care-anymore"
that brings out the strength to live on
keeping myself away from the knife
far from the scissors
beyond the reach of the blade

18 July 2008

into love
into despair
into desparation
into hatrate
into imaginations
into darkness
the sadness
the sorrow
the pain
the happiness
the joy
the bliss
the nightmares
the dreams
deep into the abyss
under everything real
behind a mask
through lies
into fire
the mixed emotions
feeling lost
the crowd
the complications
the past
the memories
the faded
the deleted
the venom
the poison
the trashed

R andomly speaking, feeling fa R
A nswers i never will get, behind the lens of the camer A
C alling out for help, to be optimisti C
H opes , crus H
E verything is shattered, nothing mor E
L ost within the sands of time, to kil L

i spend so long just doing the above
my mum's falling sick
and my report card's out tomorrow
someone has to go get it with me
and if my mum's sick
and my dad's not free [ i think ]
who's gonna get it?!?!?!
ahhh...my results aren't much to see anyway
well im failing more and more
and i really wish i could do something about it
2 months dead line draws closer
taekwondo BTFC championship even closer
i really wanted to get started today
and when i REALLY wanted to start
i had to go out get dinner
cuz my mum's sick
my post's grows shorter and shorter
but hey...at least i update
i feel a bit hung over lately
like i've been walking on air all this while
i cant feel my legs
so my late nights really do kill me
but i dont have a choice
i have to do things
i still have homework to be done
not to mention
the occasional "distractions"
i really need to slap myself back to earth
cuz i know
i am no longer here
it feels like it anyway
maybe it's just all this crap surrounding me right now
one more silly complication
and i swear i will burst out
just one itsy bitsy thing
and i swear i will be kicking and screaming
so forgive me if i do
im under A LOT of "pressure" at the moment

17 July 2008

i think i really need a time out... im tired!!!!!
i am overworked
i am exhausted
i dont have time to do anything i love anymore
i am a zombie
i am a robot
here's my daily routine now
...get up
...brush teeth
...get dressed
...go downstairs
...pack bag
...get into the car
...half asleep
...get to school
...go through the canteen
...into the hallway
...drag feet up the stairs
...drag self to class
...wait for recess
....crap with classmate
...recess eat
....line up
....go to class
....crap again
....go home
....sit down
...get frustrated
...trashes manuscript paper
...goes to the comp
...sits there
...cracks brain
...practises music
....practises taekwondo
...too tired
...eat dinner
more or less thats what my life has been for the past few weeks
in out in out
excluding the tuition and curicular activities
so i apologize for not updating everyday...
im very so very tired...
i need a partner for the JAMC thingy
anyone out there want to partner?!?!?!
i really cant do 3 on my own
this i admit
and i really need help
big time
i have no inspiration thats one
i have no idea how de hell do i do it
i have 2 months to do this...
owh crap
that aint much of a time
somehow i feel like a real idiot when i stand amongst the contestants
like im so sakaii liddat
they were staring one kind
i was staring one kind
curses im such an idiot
ok i get started soon
so dont balme me for not updating again....
busy busy busy~
you know what happens when i get home
i drop myself onto the bed
and i really do just fall asleep
you know like instantly
yeah in my school uniform i slept
all the way til 5 or 6
and then i take my bath
and i still feel tired
then its dinner
i seriously need time to stop
so that i can fill my energy bar again
so here i am..
trying to feel life
though im such a robot right now
meep~! meep~! meep~!
for once i really want to live in a bubble
away from all this
it's TOO MUCH!!!!!
saturday is open day
so ears~
prepare to face the music

12 July 2008

i hate m o n d a y s
my head hurt right now
i am so very confused
i want to speak
but word wouldn't come out
i gave the signs
but no one saw them
i hate m o n d a y s
of all my four years in st mary
i have never went to support cheer
so i decide to do so this year
don't get me wrong
amanda n esther
you two have been cheering all your life
but i just don't like seeing people smile so much
really i could see through all the fake-ness in them
sat there for the entire day
and somehow i expected S E L L O R S
to do so much better
G E N E S I S did fairly well
for newcomers
that was a real sad soap opera
poor shi ling
wee kiat came in the second half
introduced himself as my brother
and she thought he was my biological brother
until i told her toward the end
i hate m o n d a y s
bon odori was fun
just the journey by train was utter boredom
what to do oil price went up
save some petrol
reached about 7 something
got bowie to help with my yukata
had a random girl help me tie my obi
damn i so useless
followed around the circle doing the cultural dance
it may sound boring
but its real f u n
met Muted towards the end
bowie went abck with mun-mun earlier
i had ice cream!!!!!
i hate m o n d a y s
i have made my point
that i hate mondays
and having all my sciences on one day
doesnt help
i have PHY BIO CHEM all in one day
hey i won't mind if the teachers are awesome
some of the teachers here can put the ENTIRE student body
in to eternal slumber
yeah thats how "powerful" they are
moral class was ok
sat in class talking to PnDeva bout cheer08
i hate m o n d a y s
my homework is still piled up
as usual
so when you have a teacher like MissTan
who checks hw
you tend to be doomed
my obsession with coke needs to be handled
i'm gulping down 6 cans of coke per day
i'm drinking coke like water
which according to several people
will corrode my tummy
let coke corrode then
i hate m o n d a y s
i feel them looking down on me
no where to hide
no room to breath
im like a flower in a shade
im like a bird in a cage
i want a real life
i just wanna feel life
getting tired of living in a bubble

10 July 2008

there's a certain part of me that might just cry out for help and there's this tiny section of me that might just break down and cry there's this certain part in me that might just give up on all that's made worth while so here's a post with no full stops a post for utter nonsense from the two days i was away there comes a point where i really cannot take it anymore where i really am at the breaking point at the limit so maybe one group of people tells me he's gay and another tells me he's weird doesn't mean i still cant be with him and even if he is a bit gay so what it's not like I'm not all that of a girl anyway main point is most people have trouble accepting people for who they are it's like if they're gay you cant hang out with them cause you'll turn gay sooner or later well if you're going to be that influenced by them then yes seriously if you have friends you wont need to change yourself to be with them all you have to do is be yourself really there is nothing wrong with it and with all this stuff revolving around me i really need some time to breath it's like i dont even have time to breath anymore one moment i'm practising taekwondo the other i'll be staring at the empty manuscript cracking my brain and now my muscles hurt for dancing just so you know i'm consuming five to six can of coke per day which is not very healthy according to "some people" well few days back we had some ceramah moral thingy first the guy was rude real rude then it was fun did the chicken dance and the end next day we went through spotcheck and on that day i had to decide to bring my phone well my nails were one lie and my phone was another guess i'm such an innocent girl even the prefects thrust me lol i had my phone in the pocket of my shorts so i told her it was i tuition fees a whole lum sum of it and my nails i said i needed them for the guitar and that i misplaced my wallet that morning so i had no pass brilliant right tomorrow is bon odori i'm hardly excited i'm rather scared actually damn i need a body guard hydde's in london so i cant do anything about it well i like the peace really i do it's not like i live on people feeding me sweet words that don't mean much to me in addition to my not-so-awesome-keyboard i'm pasting all my a's again you can count the a's if you want to see how many times i had to press ctrl+v i wanted to do a post without any a's in it to save me the trouble but i just can't ok i've just finished my sixth coke for the day i need to buy a new carton soon damn my music class is tomorrow and i haven't done a thing ok i'm going for bon odori and also cheer i come armed with a dagger and a pistol and a fork if that doesn't work i can always kick the chickens okay this is the part where i start thinking out loud rachel you need to be a girl now no actually not really i think it's better if i just be me it's not like it's worth changing heck i won't even change if my mother asked me to so bottom line rachel don't change maybe i should change hydde make him a bit boyish lol dream on girl now what to wear what to wear first of all i do not know how to work my yukata second i cant tie my obi third what the hell am i gonna do with my hair owh damn okay the crap we made up in class on our ship and stuff i cant exactly type when i'm pvsting every single a in the freaking word that im freaking using so here i am i say when i feel like dressing like a girl i will and most of the time when i feel like dressing like a guy i will too and when i grow up erm that is if i do grow up which is most likey not to happen but it's still an if cause i know there will be a time i will have to grow up and until that time comes i'll be sitting in the corner of my room cuddling into my blanket hugging my favourite teddy bear singing myself to sleep

08 July 2008

always tiring
always hectic
always too much to handle
i have school
and the tuition
and occasionally i have to make dinner
and then it's a bath
more homework
and sleep
so today's taekwondo training was tiring as usual
cuz all i had was a can of MILO
i had another 5 cans of coke when i got back...
haha...i <3

07 July 2008

i no longer care what you tell me
i dont give a damn what you say about me
and i dont really mind if you do insult me in anyway
i really am sick of everyone
im sick of feeling so stupid
im sick of feeling so sloppy
im sick of feeling so conscious
im sick of feeling so lousy
im sick of feeling so useless
im sick of feeling so talentless
im just so sick of it
and everytime when i do give it shot
some bigger comes out
and what i just did is like
i really don't know
how am i going to live up to my mum
its like she's expecting way too much
its so much more
than i can very do
maybe i shouldn't have left my Moral paper on the floor
cause she saw and she.......
long story short
i passed my Moral by 4 marks
i feel like shit
yeah my results suck
to tell you the truth
its normal for me
no longer a BIG shocker
coming up
i have 4 diagnostic test for add math to sit
and teacher says i have to pass it all
well...not only me
all of Form4 i think
but still.......
it's freaking addmath...
Ive been spending way too long
checking my tongue into the mirror
and bending over backwards
just to try to see it clearer
but my breath fogged up the glass
so i drew a new face and laughed
i guess what im saying is
there aint no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity
and just go with the seasons
[I'm Yours - Jason Marz]
Miss Yus's birthday today
she made bio so freaking FUNNNNNN
it's sad PnChieng has to come back
pasting my a's again...damn you keyboard

whoops.....high again
too much coke?
last i drank was yesterday
i just cant believe something like this would happen
tomorrow i have taekwondo
must go competition rachel
must go
loveeeessssss -rachel-

04 July 2008

Drew on my hand today
and i'm pasting my a's once more
keyboard's going mad again
so a short one til this recovers
cause i can't be pasting my a's all the way
i go through the same old routine
if that isn't boring enough
i suffered in add math
and well...
pratically drawing on my arm was all i remember...
i went to tuition
drew somemore
well im dying of boredom there
went home
took my bath
look what i have
i finished the last 3 today
so i bought moreeee
man i love coke....<3
my drug for survival = COKE

03 July 2008

had ooooddlleeessss of fun today
owh i drag myself out of bed
into my school uniform
down the stairs
up the car
into school compounds
up the stairs
into class
i went through class after class
aiyo today first day la...
so a bit
whole day raining on and off
after recess....
thundering a bit
so i scared scared a bit
and then BM was fun
bina ayat oso laugh so loud
CikChong got us to do it orally after she gave a few to do in the book
she asked sarritha to do one...
and sarritha chose "baring-baring"
so she goes..
"saya baring-baring di atas tilam..."
"...sambil bercakap dengan telefon...."
then theeviyah went
"sambil melepaskan gas...."
sarritha had problems with the sentence
"bercakap dalam telefon..."
"...bercakap dengan telefon..."
then CikChong corrected her...
really truely
CikChong has changed for the better
she a bit more fun now....^^
well...at least she's willing to do something
so that WE dont fall asleep
then it was English
supposed to do my 2nd oral today
but teacher got stuff to attend to
so...i'm safe!!!!
she left after the 8th perriod
and we had the 9th period in the English room enjoying ourselves...
we really did...
so let the photos speak for themselves...
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pose ppl pose...xD

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come one come all...syok sendiri betul...

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dah dah....started la the madness

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more and more came...semangat la... peace la... punching?!?!

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jakoon-ish la.....

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everybody wan to be in the picture...

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dang...my poor head...xD
very dark la...
somebody get the LIGHTS!!!!!!

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ahhh...now can see all the pretty faces..

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i dunno WTF the three ppl are doing...
but all of us are fighting for the cam space...

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kononnya wanna become hantu la this ppl...
and then...
we have our PIGs...

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more cam whore pigs....
new species..
just discovered today
this kind of pigs loves the camera

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poor huixian...kena cium...
OMG OMG!!!!...
virus virus...lol...
so me and umi's face liddat lorrrrr

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they wanted to take passport photo it seems
so they're making the white background
i took their butts...xD
bully me summore la....haiyo..
i know my face every square la...
stop laughing people...

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started la...
fooling aroud with poor Kong's head
kong go...=.='''

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eh!!! tat day phantom...kong's hair nice la...
came we remake the hair...

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joanna the "wonderful" hairstylist
lol...if only i danced that day in THIS hairstyle...
damn yeng...xD

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ok ok....gila liao gila liao....
see la see la.....

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damn dont pull my fringe to the side....
ahhhh.*waves white flag*
wow...my post lately has LOTS of picture in themm...
well...more pictures = less talking...
wait til PnJudy finds out what we did....xD
then we're doomed...