23 January 2010

i went shopping these past few days
didn buy much
just the baju kurung cost a bomb
the other shirts i just took my mum's
and the pants too
its so nice sometimes
the simple fact that selayang mall sells nice stuff
and it's nearby my place



hohoho my new wallet

something else i found...


i'll be leaving tomorrow for UNITEN
no i am not nervous
no i am not even excited
no i am not scared
its like a little camp away from home
and i've been away from home
and my mum's making me bring practically the whole entire house along with me
i'm gonna have to start packing later
throw my stuff into some bag
i guarantee you that my mum makes me over pack
mothers will be mothers
i think if she could she'd make me bring the whole fridge there
just to make sure i dont starve to death
uhhh it feels like first day of shcool again
where my parents especially my mum gets all paranoid
and gets all worried i get lost
gets all worked up about silly little things
i bet she'd probably walk me to my room
literally into the apartment and into the room
which is extremely irritating
cuz she'd probably check the place out
make sure everything's in order
remind me to drink water
take care of my belongings
remind me to eat
make sure i reply her texts
and i probably have to force myself to
you know how its like when someone keeps texting you and you dont feel like replying and they just keep texting and texting and texting
and then she makes a big fuss about it when i dont reply
just grinning and bearing with it
i kinda dont mind the formal dressing
i dont mind the baju kurung either
i just have to adapt really
the ONE THING i really hope i dont end up with
is roommates who are those kind of girls
that hate girls like me
cuz they give a shit about how they look
i dont
cuz they give a shit if a strand of hair is out of place
i dont
cuz they organize everything
i dont
cuz they're all so prepped up for a new day
i'm not
i hate those girls and they hate me
feeling's mutual
the BEST THING i could have
is another Ramya as my roommate
oh yeah
all i need is ONE GOOD FRIEND to get through til march

alritey guys...
wish me luck ^^

22 January 2010

it's AMAZING what having only one meal a day does. yea. i get up around 11 or 12 so there goes my breakfast. and half the time i'm not hungry so i wont take lunch either. and i only settle for dinner. i've been doing practically that for the holidays since school started. so that's about 3weeks. and now my pants are falling off.

i dont starve myself. i'm just lazy. and i wasnt like hungry like i could eat just about anything you throw at me hungry. i didnt get gastric dont worry. and surprisingly i've curbed my addiction to coke. wow.

i've started packing for UNITEN. i'm still pondering on whether to bring my DSLR. so from monday to friday i'll be staying in an apartment with 3rooms. 2people to a room. and then saturday after class i'll be heading back home. which would be about afternoon. back to my bed. <3


*stares at campus map*
its gonna be a lot of walking...

21 January 2010

as though no one is watching you
as though no one can hear you
as though you've never been hurt
as though heaven is on earth


just came back from dance class. my feet are kiling me. and there's a bruise on my shoulder from practising my freeze. im not complaining. dancing keeps my mind off all the crap im in. feels kind of like a little escape for me. gosh. i'm going to miss dancing.

i came home. danced a little bit more while waiting for my mum to finish her shower. took my shower. and head downstairs. my legs literally gave in on my way down.

then i had a piece of chocolate.

enjoying the little things.

Things do not change; we change.


i finished typing this post and click "publish"
then i get "internet explorer cannot open page"
i was like "WTF"

type again.

Adaptation is good. If you do not adapt, you become extinct.

i wonder how it's like in UNITEN. i hope it's fun there. besides the fact that they make me wear baju kurung on thursdays and fridays. and i have English and Maths and Moral. oh not forgetting my curricular activities. lol. then the sad fact is i have to stop dance class. i love dancing. well i guess i should bring my sketch book. in case i go crazy at some point. i can only wear office wear. which isnt so bad. then i bought a pair of shoes.cuz i cant exactly wear my converse with my baju kurung. lol. though i wouldnt care. but mum wont let me. maybe i'll go scouting for cosplayers there. hohoho.

ou its not sunny outside. i'll use the sliding doors outside as mirrors. dance dance dance.

lol...what do i care if my neighbours stare at me.

Dance like nobody's looking.

The dance is a poem of which each movement is a word.

then my grandma would probably think i'm weird. lol.
maybe i wont run out and dance. i'll just stay up in my room and do whatever.

uhhh im gonna miss dance class...
then again. even if im going to study japanese intensively nobody said it wouldn't be fun...^^

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.


the last two years of my high school life was awesome. how i made friends. how new friends came along. how bonds were formed. it was something i was glad and proud to be a part of. then leaving the home we built on our own. the comfort zone we've been in for those two years. it felt as if i didnt know the world anymore. it was like i've entered a new world. and all i wanted to do was to turn back and return to the same sanctuary i had two years ago.
then i sit here. watching everyone change with time. change with age. how they all start to mature. and im still sitting here. then i realize how scary change really is. especially when you're the one witnessing it. it was scary to me. watching my friends grow up. from the little girls we all were. in our primary school uniform. to god knows what. lol.
one thing's for sure. class will never be the same without every single one of us. class will never be as fun. class will never be as lively. though there maybe instances where it reminded us of how it was. there's no rewind button for us. to press the rewind button and pause at our favourite parts. what we have left is the memories of the times we had together. the silent laughters. the awkward moments. the misinterpretations. the lame jokes. the random comments. the weird things we come up with. the weird names we give each other.

soon you will realize. you can no longer act as stupidly as you did then and not mind people thinking you're retarded or crazy.

cuz you have finally lost your inner child.

OMG very emo kong...*slaps head*
buh bye turbans xD

19 January 2010

Philip Larkin - This Be The Verse
They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

03 January 2010

i sat here and i was like. Damn. School's starting tomorrow. Get up at 5a.m.. get dressed. have breakfast. pack my books. head to school. then i was like. Shit. i'm not going to school anymore. no more homework. no more staying up to finish the homework. no more waking up early. no more sitting in class. no more greeting the teachers. no more running away from "the fairy". no more laughing in class. no more running away from Theeviyah to do duty. no more cooking sessions with Ramya. no more misheard words. no more toothpick. no more calling Michelle a retard. no more Lava Lameness. no more hearing Ramya read her awesome essays in front of class. And Lava's weird entertaining essays too. no more fart warnings from Syarifah. no more "masak-masak" with Ramya. no more cutting Ramya's leg hair. no more irritating Ramya. no more Ramya abuse. no more Ramya stealing my homework. no more everyone stealing my homework. no more washing my shoes. no more morning assembly. no more Miss Goh singing in the mic. no more being dragged by Ramya to do the stupidest things. no more laughing til i cant laugh no more. no more "i dunnooe". no more Pn.Judy's screaming. no more chicken eraser. i wonder if Ramya will take that eraser to college. no more avoiding lining up during recess.


that's a lot of "no more".

moving on.

been traveling the past few days.

paris was awesome. the chapels are so beautiful there. the faded limestones. the stained glass. it felt like i got sucked into the tv screen and were in a movie. though it didnt snow. i wasnt really bothered by it. it rained quite often. its amazing how everything is so well preserved there. the streets were lighted up at night. which made it even more made believe. i loved the way the streets looked. the eiffel tower was beautiful. some of the lights died so it looked weird but still its nice. i had to walk up 2floors of the tower. lined up at the wrong line. what the heck. but the view up there was spectacular.

i could go on and on about how beautiful the city was. but you honestly have to see it for yourself.

p.s. zoom the entire page if the pictures are too small for you. it wont distort. bigger picture prettier. xD

plenty of FAT pigeons there

crazy dude at the train station


One of the Chandeliers in the Opera House

In the Opera House

Three Buildings

Notre Dame

Feeding Pigeons

Making Of CHocolates

Outside The Lourve Museum

This shop sells homemade mustard. Famous for it. Its in Gent.

In The Castle

Atomium? Atominium?! I forgot


WOOT!! LV!! $$

Bike for rental

Stained glass

Stained glass

Mama Locker.
the father was sent to prison n wasnt given any food or water. his daugther visied him everyday and in the process fed him breast milk. they were surprised he survived without food and water. so there u have it. there's actually a sculpture of it at the top of the building. zoom.



Guess whatttt...



01 January 2010

back from paris and brussels.
going to johor tomorrow.

school starts on the 4th january.
time for me to buckle up.
and decide what im going to do with my life.
i dont think i'll be doing any of the sciences.
i make a terrible doctor.
i guess i would probably go into arts.
then i have to chooe between all the millions of branches.
but my dad says artist die a pauper
and they only get famous after they're dead
so what else do you want me to do
first of all i dont think any living breathing person wants to die a pauper.
second i dont think my art would go far
so that leaves my semi love for maths

the fact is
i'm afraid
i dont think i can do an office job
where everything is routine
where's the live in the job if you already know what's gonna happen
living in a spoilt tape recorder is no fun
i doubt i wanna sit in a cubicle everyday

i hate decisions
and now

there's no running from them