28 May 2010

my second week in TARCollege.

i pretty much got used to the whole idea that i had to do my own homework by myself without my lecturers reminding me. and how i have to self study. i love chemistry. i love the lecturer too. =D physics is okay i guess. at least i understand. she's a bit fast but once more, at least i understand. pure maths and further pure is love! i love further pure. lecturer is okay too. but my applied maths and further applied sucks. most of the time during lectures i'm so blooody confused and dont even know what's happening. yeah it sucks.

which reminds me. i have one page of tutorial not done for that.

i probably started accepting the fact that no matter how much a rant about this my parents arent going to send me to TOA. so i guess i'll be at TARC doing my a levels for the time being.

its not that bad being in TARC. the friends i make here are pretty awesome people. yeah. not to mention the whole load of people i already know. my class has more girls now. and the numbers would probably increase when i get back on Monday. which means i'm gonna have to do my "duties" again.not that i'm complaining. i dont mind really. just gonna be troublesome again. collecting money and stuff.

internet at home really sucks. i cant stay online on msn for 5minutes without disconnecting. its so stupid. and i spend the next 10minutes trying to log back in. listening to rin & len again. i think i need to see a therapist.

there's something wrong with me.

23 May 2010

my first week in TARCollege.

it was bearable i guess. so i'm doing Cambridge A Levels there. Subject combination of Chemistry, Further Maths, Maths and Physics. and i have General Paper which i can drop after sem2. and Malaysian Studies which i HAVE to pass in sem1. nice.

when i first came to TARC i was pretty unhappy. i mean. dont get me wrong. TARC is FILLED with chinese people. but unfortunately the majority do not speak my language. yea. they all speak mandrin. which kinda sucks for me. cuz i speak english. and my mandrin isnt all that good either.

first. how did i end up in TARC.

my parents were bugging me about choosing a college. first of all i already had my mind set that i wanted to do animation. and i already told my parents that. but somehow i had this sinking feeling they didn like the idea of it. they kept asking me to be an actuarist since i like maths.

so my aim at that point. was to get into RCKL or TOA at least. and when my parents asked about the course and everything i'd inform them. but they never seem that interested in it.

so it was then my dad came and ask me what i wanted to do and where i wanted to go. and i told. my dad kept pushing the idea of me doing my A levels. at some point i did argue and said it was a waste of time since i already set what i wanted to do. and all of a sudden my parents are looking for colleges offering CAL.

so. fine. my parents pushed me into the fact that i'm doomed to do my A levels whether i liked it or not. since they didn supported the fact that i wanted to start my course. my dad said i was stupid for wanting to start my course so early. according to him i should "relax" for another 1.5 years. and he goes on gloating about how he finished his A Levels in 9months. bla bla bla...

CAL is far from RELAX.

somehow i get the feeling my parents dont want me to do animation.

hoping that within this 1.5years i'd change my mind.

they tell me this is my future so i have to make the decision. but everytime i make one they go with their own decisions. so whats the point of me making all those decisions if they're not gonna take them anyway...

so i was destined to do A levels. the only question was where. and i picked TAYLORS. and i told my parents i want to go to taylors. and after all that debate. they decided to dump me to TARC. with reasons that my cousins are the product of TARC and they turned out ok. i practically gave up trying to get my way with my parents.

so TARC it is.

and when i came to TARC, i was none other that depressed with my current situation. cuz to me, i was wasting my time doing my A Levels while every other budding animator is out there doing their course. doing my A Levels was like living another 1.5years of a much harder SPM. my dad sent me to TARC saying it was cheap and nearer to our place. i dont give a damn what other reasons they wanna give me for why they sent me to TARC.

i dont.

i basically hated every minute of my life when i'm at TARC. cuz i never wanted to be here in the first place. but here i am. stuck here for another 1.5years. i'm wasting my time but i still have to do this because my parents made me.

i wanted to go to TOA. i planned to go there ever since before SPM ended.

and now. here i am. sitting by my table. sketch books replaced with tutorial books. pencils replaced with pens for writing. guide books replaced with notes for my subjects. watercolours stacked back in the shelves. brushed cleaned and shoved back into the container. art blocks kept back on the shelves.

things look like SPM all over again.

i lost count of the people who gave me the same expression when i told them i'm at TARC. honestly i dont know why i am in TARC. the only reason i can give you is that my parents made me.

so. i'm in class SN11p. a class with only 4GIRLS including me.

i start my second week in TARC tomorrow.

i guess there's nothing else to do but to grin and bear with it.

but it's not like going to TOA after my A Levels makes my A Levels any worth the time when i can go to TOA NOW.


i'm tired of doing things i dont want to do just because someone asks me to.


15 May 2010

went out for dinner today.
somewhere in damansara.

i went to the outlet in Damansara : Restoran Sari Ratu, 47-1, Jalan PJU 5/12, Dataran Sunway, Kota Damansara

there're plenty of other outlets
Kelana Jaya outlet: Restoran Sari Ratu, Dataran Glomac, Kelana Jaya
Desa Pandan outlet: Restoran Sari Ratu, No G26-G28, Jalan 4/76C, Desa Pandan, KL
Ampang outlet: No 26, Ampang Waterfront, Taman Kosas, Ampang
Bukit Bintang outlet: Sari Ratu Grand Restaurant, Ground Floor, 42-2, Jalan Sultan Ismail, Bukit Bintang, KL

i dont know how to service is like there. but the service in the Damansara outlet is pretty good.

so you get your selection of your dishes from what's out on display. they have a pretty wide variety really. just we dont have the capacity to do so.
what you see there is fried beef. looks nice to me. but dad didn order it. T^T

a peep of the kicthen from the window outside the restaurant.

Fried Talapia Fish. we didn order this though. looks like something worth a try. =D
somehow the fish has this face >8O

Fried Chicken. its not exactly served fresh from the oven but kinda at room temperature. but all in all if you're going there you should order this. very nice. unlike your regular oily fried chicken you get around town.

Squid Curry. lol sounds so weird translated into english.
Kari Sotong. hahaha. there's nothing special bout this dish. taste okay. served boiling hot. i guess they reheated it or something. just your regular curry.

dad ordered some curry with tendons. yeah i know it sounds weird and pretty much ewww. but íts pretty good actually. one of my favourite dishes. ^^ i forgot to take a picture of it. OTL

Beef! nicely done. once again served at room temperature. pretty good actually...=D

some vege...to avoid constipation...LOL...

THIS did not look like chillie to me. but it is.

and finally. ice cream. they have cake too but i couldnt possibly have cake n ice cream. LOL. i dont know what flavour is this but its really NICEEE ^^

food's pretty good there actually. =D
sadly ice cream's not free. LOL
just came back from another driving hell.

i was travelling at 20km/h. drove out of my neighbourhood. out into the junction. joined the main road. still under 20km/h. and he goes "ah...tgk...camni la amoi bawak kreta..." i was like "yea. i have all the time in the world to drive at 20km/h everywhere i go." i was trying to be nice after all that scolding he gave me yesterday. trying very hard.

then he made me practise on the road. he goes "amoi buat jalan satu." so i did. n honestly i get confused with his instructions sometimes. i'll be driving halfway and he'll say "ah jalan...jalan..." and my brain registered as "go faster." i did once and he scolded me. "amoi jgn pandu laju sgt!! brek! brek! amoi rilex!" uhhhhhh...so i did jalan satu as how my old instructor taught me. and i had to turn left at the traffic light. and the car is already way below 20km/h. u know the pointer was at the first marker after 0km/h!! slow enuf de what. so i didn bother to break. and i put in mind to corner REALLY REALLY slowly. and he went "amoi selekoh mesti brek! jgn cepat sgt!" WTF LA. D<
so fine the next turning, i literally hit the brakes til it was almost 0km/h and turned. and he went "camni la amoi. selekoh mesti buat camni. slow je. tgk rilex je..."
i did a few more rounds of jalan satu and got a couple of scoldings again.

then he made me practise jalan dua. this way is so fucked up.its just the backward way of jalan satu but much harder. cuz there's a crazy busy junction to get out of. i so scared to even change gears. later he scold me for going too fast. so occasionally he'd go "amoi...tukar la gear..." he kept scolding me when i took a corner. keep asking me to go slowly. how slow does he want me to go la!!! already almost zero!! i turn the corner a bit sharper oso he scold me. "amoi dah berape kali saya ckp selekoh mesti slow."



the first time i got out of the crazy junction was ok really. just i forgot to signal. cuz i followed the silver waja beside me. hahaha. and he can scold summor "pusing la pusing. cepat. tekan minyak." babi betul pakcik ni. i cepat u marah. i tak cepat u pun marah. i pusing cepat u marah. i pusing lambat pun u marah.
its so stupid u know. he ask me to tekan minyak. so i press. then he ask me to slow. WTF LA.

then he made me drive home.

n he nicely sleeping. then i was at the traffic light waiting. i release my brakes. "SHIT. why the car moving backwards." then i pulled the handbrakes. ok it stopped moving. then i was driving home so i turned into the road between the shops. and he went "amoi pilih la jalan yang lg besar..."



then he made me park in front of the house. so i turned la. see...if he let me do things at my own pace i would've parked ok. but he was like "tekan clutch. tekan brek." and the next minute he was like "tekan la minyak amoi! apesal tak tekan!" then after i pressed, he went "BREK! BREK!" and he slapped his forehead. "apela amoi ni. i suruh brek kan?!?! apesal tak brek?!?" then i said "pak cik ada la brek." then he said "mana ada?! kalau td u dgr ckp i brek kreta takkan terlebih camni."


then he gave me the card to sign. and i left the car.

pissed off as yesterday.

and i have another class with him tomorrow same time...

ARGH!! *tooot* o0o

14 May 2010

my driving instructor went for a holiday. i miss him.

so i had a new instructor today. I HATE HIM.

all this while i have never really drove on the road. so technically i havent got a clue how to control the manual car. and plus the fact that THIS kancil is a different kancil. cuz the one i used to practise with broke down yesterday. and THIS kancil is STUPID HARD to control. and he made me drive on the road for the first time. and he started scolding me for EVERYTHING! my engine didn die at least. going out the junction he scolded me. he asked me to slow down so i did. and obviously at the junction you STOP. i stopped. and he scolded me for stopping. so i pressed the accellerator. then he scolded me for going too fast. the junction is a freaking SLOPE. i dont go fast how am i supposed to move up the junction. then i had to go out to join the main road and i did. and he scolded me for not looking and going too fast. i was at 40-50km/h. so fine. i was driving fine with my old instructor. sometimes he'd let me on the road for awhile. he'd even let me go to 60km/h sometimes.

i was driving. i was driving angry.

so yes. he was scolding me on and on. about every single little thing. even taking a corner too quickly. and i was steaming there. and he just kept going on and on. scolding me for every little thing i did. i was driving on the road for the first time. what does he expect me to do?!?! and the great thing was that. he was scolding me non-stop and asking me to relax.

then i broke down.

i teared a bit. and he didn shut up.

until we reached tat place where i'd practise my bukit, 3point turn n parking when he left me to do it on my own. thank god. so i did a few rounds on my own. which turned out pretty satisfying really. but i miss my old instructor. at least he gave some encouragement when i did well. this one just sat at the pondok there talking to his friends. and only commented when i did wrong. T^T

one last round he tells me. i was sweating cuz there was no air cond in THIS kancil. not like there was any in the last one. so this chinese instructor was walking by and saw me and asked me, "no air cond ar?!?!" i shook my head and said "no..." then he told my instructor "hoi! sian amoi ni. cam steam pau la...meh ambik tuala satu kasi." i chuckled a bit and continued parking. wishing i had an instructor like that.

uhhhh amoi amoi amoi...

i hate people calling me amoi


after going round and round. he decides to take the road again. and made me drive back. he made me keep to below 40km/h. above 40 and he'd scold. and i didn need anymore scolding. so the drive home was less scolding. and excruciatingly slow. he made me take corners so bloody slowly. even at the roundabout i was at 30km/h. uhhhh...even changing lanes he made me do it like i had all the time in the world.

i know he's a really really really really old man.

doesnt mean he can make ME drive like a freaking old man tooo!!!!

i was like...

i had hell of a driving day.

and i still have class with him tomorrow and on sunday.


07 May 2010

third day of driving lessons.
i overslept today. phone on silent. forgot to set alarm. so mum called me twice. my instructor called me once. then i woke up and saw all the messeges and missed calls. check the clock. OH SHIT!! 10:15. so yes. i jumped out of bed. AGAIN!!! brushed my teeth got dressed in less than a minute. AGAIN!! then i literally ran downstairs. open the gate.
nobody there. so i went back in. then mum called.
"you're instrcutor left de la! i called you to get up u didn hear meh?"
"my phone on silent laaa..."
"see! now i have to call the fella to come again!!"
then she hang up. i was like "uhhhhh...another crappy morning..."

then i waited.

he came. brought me to the same place again. and i went round and round and round. park. 3point turn. stupid hill. park. 3point turn. stupid hill. i dont know. i was driving like shit today. engine kept dying over and over again. i kept rolling down the stupid hill.

he's like "tayar mesti kat dot kuning ni. nampak tak?!" i was saying to myself while nodding "no." I CANT EVEN SEE THE TYRE HOW I KNOWWW!!! then he goes "tayar depan kat garisan ni. mesti kat garisan ni. ikut formula." I CANT SEE THE BLOODY FREAKING TYRE!!! so parking today was like shit. i got so pissed i took off the stupid safety belt. like a piece of crap. stupid parking. D<

then i went to do my 3point turn. at the begining it was easy. i did as i did yesterday. then i lost it. i went and bang the tiang la...bang the plactic thingy la... and i got so irritated with it. then one time i overshot. he came and was like "awak fail!! sudah fail dah! tgk. you kelua tgk. dah jatuh longkang dah! dah terjun dlm bukit dah!!" i was like "uhhhh...=___=" went back in and finished the bloody thing. stupid 3point turn. then my engine kept dying everytime i turned right before reversing. i was so irritated i went "eee bodoh babi kreta manual ni." and my instructor was standing there with his stupid green umbrella he claims he bought from Paris. D<

after that i went to do the stupid bukit. i keep hitting the breaks too early. he's like "jangan brek awal sgt!! tak sampai lg!! buat balik. turn turn." so i went back down and went back up again. and guess what?!? i hit the brakes too early. AGAIN. so he went "TAK SAMPAI LAGI LA!!! takpe takpe..." so i went down the stupid goddamn hill. my engine kept dying on top of that stupid bukit. then i think he was calling me stupid indirectly or something. he was like "ini senang saje. org bodoh pun leh buat. org paling bodoh i aja pun leh buat." i was mumbling to myself "calling me stupid la. bloody old man." stupid bukit. D<

ou i saw suet min and shi ling driving there too. =D

my intructor was talking bout fruits today. LOL. bout how its good for your body and stuff. then he went to talking bout Paris again. LOL. and smoking and cigars. i just nod and buat tahu je. and everytime i take a corner he's like "tengok lembu lembu ni...lagi teruk drpd lembu. diaorg tak tgk org lain punya." he refers L license ppl as lembu. then i was thinking "i'm also L license. he's calling me a cow!!! bloody old man. never die before ar?!?!?!" then he kept pulling the handbrake for me. and when he did i never can release it. then he was like "tangan ni kan, pukul orang leh mati. tgk garis garis ni. org kata jgn pukul anak ngan tangan ni. nak pukul pun guna rotan je." i was like "ou...kay...=_=". just smile and nod.

i felt like running into people today. i was driving out of that place and it was 12:30 so school finished. so there were like students walking by the roadside. i'm like driving and there's this two stupid girls walking. the girl on the outside was so out. so i buat tak tau la. COMMON SENSE BITCH!! MOVE WHEN THERE'S A CAR!! YOU DON'T MOVE YOU GET HIT!! DUMB BLONDE!! AND SHE'S NOT EVEN BLONDE!! IMAGINE IF SHE WAS BLONDE SHE'D BE EVEN MORE DUMB!! and the stupid biatch didnt move. and my intructor turned the steering. "jaga jaga budak sekolah." i was like "she dont want to move i langgar la!!! biatch!! then she'll move the next time she sees a car. think what?!?! her father's road ar this one!!"

funny thing was. my instructor turned on the aircond at some point. LOL. hot air came out. i was like "better no need aircond." the air was not even cold. not one bit. just warm. or hot. LOL. better no need. at least there's no sun today. weather was still bearable at least.

so after hell of a day driving. i come home. my legs were about to give in. i had to drag my feet upstairs. and i struggled just to turn the doorknob. yes i literally did. then i had to take off my socks and usually you can do it standing. as i did i almost fell. my knee literally gave in. then i had to change out of my jeans. guess what?! i couldnt unbutton it. i was like "uhhhh damn it!!=_=" i just squeezed out of it. no need to unbutton.

my hand hurt a lot today. turning the steering wheel over and over again. they seriously hurt. and now i have blisters on my hands. i can't bend my fingers without them hurting. uhhh...i'm such a princess. i bruise easily. LOL.
The stars never shine under these skies I sleep under
There is nothing but the nothingness to ponder
Those whose stars danced them to sleep
Thoughts of having a simple little peep

The stars never shine under these skies I sleep under
Than silent whispers brought from bitter
They pay hinder not of the blue dew
Thieves waiting; bet they stole few

The stars have never shone under these skies I no longer want to sleep under
Thirst held in her tiny palms to her dearer
Thin the strings that held her one
Thinking unthinkable things undone

The stars no longer shine where I stand
This is how I began til there was nothing to hand
Though I am one that is scattered
Thorns return to where they have scarred

The stars never shine but it no longer matter
They never paid care but it no longer matter
Thoughts cloud actions but it no longer matter
Things no longer matter

The stars never shine but fireflies in a jar will do
Through the looking glass placed a final turn to
Then into the nothingness no longer to ponder
The stars never shine under these skies I sleep under

That does not matter
Fireflies in a jar will do


06 May 2010

8:20 a.m.
i planned to sleep til 9:55a.m.. but i was awaken by mum at 7:55 telling me Amy Jie is stuck in a jam and cannot come fetch Ah Xuan to school. so i had to get up and walk her to school. so i rushed out of bed. brushed my teeth and washed my face. as i did i told myself, "after you walk Ah Xuan you can continue sleeping." =D so i went downstairs. and told Ah Xuan i'm walking her to school. and she's like "NO! my mummy is coming to fetch me." i was like "uhhhh...=__=*" then kakak told her that i was talking her. ok so she followed. then i was walking out with Ah Xuan and Pumbaa ran out of the gate. WTF. he went and aggravate some dog outside. very nice dog actually. so i told Ah Xuan to get inside while i went to get my stupid dog back into the house. then i walked her to school and i walked back. "okay rachel, you can go back to sleep now." so i literally threw myself on the bed. i checked my alarm before i knocked off.

then i was awaken by the doorbell. so i thought i didnt hear my alarm. i jumped out of bed. AGAIN. and got dressed in less than a minute. cuz i thought it was 10:00. driving lessons. i went to open the gate. some relative showed up with her friend asking to see my grandma. i was like "uhhhhh...zzZZzzZZ..." WTF! so i let them in. closed the gate. checked the clock on my phone. 8:20. WTF!!!!!!!!! WTF LA!!!!

and then i had to entertain them. and by that time, its 9:00 and a 55minute sleep is just gonna make things worst.

so i'm blogging.

thanks to SOMEONE!! i went through BTSSB website. which i wasnt supposed to...

Sweet Honey Mini Hat (12390yen)

Embroidered Pocket Jumper Skirt (20790yen)

Princess Drop CHandelier Shoes (26040yen)

Headdress + Jumper Dress + Shoes = o(*w*)o
12390 + 20790 + 26040 = 59220

convert 59220yen to RM = RM2013.13 OTL

sad case...TT^TT
its so prettieeeee but i cant have it...

ok so i had my 2nd driving lesson today. my engine kept dying. uhhhh...lack of sleep does this to me. well he brought me to practise the 3point turn and the stopping on the hill thing. after that he drove to the place where they had the exam n stuff. i learnt how to park!!! =D i can park man!!! 3point turn so fun...tho the steering is so irritating...the weather was so freaking hot. yea very hot. i probably got a little sunbrunt from all that. not to mention the fact that the car does not have aircond!!! OAO! turning the steering was so freaking hard. the more i turned the more tired i got the harder it got to turn. yea then he kept telling me to slowly park, slowly reverse. LOL. sweating like nobody's business today.

yea den my instructor talks a lot. keep talking and talking. and half the time i cant hear what he says. but i just nod. he's a nice man. so i just act like i'm listening la. he said something bout being someone's body guard or something. then he talked about Paris again. so i told him i went there last year for the holidays. it cant be a one man conversation you know!! LOL

then i was waiting for my turn to practise parking. this girl was practising. i was like "why is she holding a piece of paper?!? what's that?! notes?!?? u need notes to drive?!?!". LOL. and she took FOREVER to do it. n my instructor told me she already had 16hours of lessons. i was sitting n the aircond-less kancil under the sun!! HURRY UP LA!!! damn bloody hot. steering oso bloody hot!!! i feel like just accelerating and crash her car. D< i had less than 4hours and i can do better!! you deserved to be crashed!!!! RAWR!!

sometimes the weather in Malaysia makes me miss the weather in Paris.

my face red from the sun. my hands red from all that steering turning. my feet red from all that pressing.

then after i did my last 3point turn i still had to do the bukit thingy and the line was like so LLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!! i was like "Pak Cik kene buat lagi ke bukit tu? Panas la....><" then he so nice he say "Tak pe la kite balik je la...amoi dah pandai dah..." i was like "OOH YEAHHH!!! OUT OF THE SUN!!!"

i went back and the back of my entire shirt is wet. =___=
and a put my head to the freezer!! Ahhhhhh~ bliss...<3

while i was driving, i saw a chicken cross the road!! literally crossing the road!!! i was going to burst out laughing when i saw!!! so funny...XD but i didn burst out laughing of course. later my intructor thinks i'm some mentally retarded person. ( i know i am. doesn't mean he has to know. ) and then i'd have to explain to him why i laughed. imagine...
"Knape ketawa??"
"Tadi ayam tu melintas jalan..."


tired tired. tomorrow got another class. UHHHHHHH!!!
need to go find sunblock. i dont need another sunburn.


oodles toodles~

05 May 2010




めがね レン megane len

めがね リン megane rin

Rin: len...
Len: hmmmmmm?

Rin: chup~
Len: O_O



i just had to play with my brushes...=D

That's all folks. ^^

I had to get up early today to walk Ah Xuan to school. so i walked out of the house with her. i was walking the right way cuz mum already told me where it was. then Ah Xuan was like "No. No. Not that way. This way." we still had extra time so i followed "her way" until she realized it was wrong. LOL. then we took the road inside the housing area. as she passed each house she was like "not this one...not this one...not this one..." yeah n she was talking non-stop throughout the whole walk...


i have my first driving class today!!!! =D
LOL i had fun actually. besides the fact that i couldn't stand driving at 20km/h. my instructor talks a lot. so i have to talk and drive at the same time. LOL. so he taught me how to chg gears, 3 point turn, parking, the roundabout, stopping at the hill, and starting again. so i went round and roun selayang area. i keep forgetting to turn off my signal. OTL. ou ou!! then i find myself distracted halfway driving. it's like, i'd be driving driving driving and then something else crosses my mind and the car goes to the other lane. i like driving round the roundabout <3.>D

then i drive halfway i will have this sudden urge to laugh. cuz i'm so used to BURNOUT. when i was on the road, my brain immediately registered "drive oncoming". ROFLMAO!!


cuz when i did the instructor was like "SLOW! SLOW!"

oh. i almost crashed! into a police van!!! you know those dark blue ones... O_O" i was at a junction and instructor say go. so i go laaa... first of all he didn tell me where to go. so i was like "ok...one way road and it goes left." so i turn left. and then he went and ask me to get to the other side of the road. there's a small opening there. i was like "HARRR?!?!" (blur case). there was this police van coming. then he drove from the passenger seat. LOL. i wanted to burst out laughing. and the police horned me...

so when he got me to the third gear...fourth gear... he kept asking me to slow down. asking me to relax. LOL.

i have problems pulling the stupid handbrake. cuz my left hand is such a weakling!! D< hahaha the car went backwards once too!!!

ou...and i did the stupidest thing. i tired to adjust my seat with my seatbelt on. LOL


i think driving makes me evil.
i feel evil.


01 May 2010

daddy's cooking curry for tonight's dinner...

Chillie?! i think...i dunnnoo...><


i just learnt how to do this...hahahahaha
bubbly bubbling bubbly
and now for the CURRY

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

feeling corky?! >D ♥