12 August 2008

** Fourty Six **

Its been a long day. Getting frustrated wit de class ____ production. Feeling so sick of myself.

For now i might not understand this but somehow i find my mum being overly paranoid about silly little things. Hellloooo its just simple hanging out la. Is tat such a crime?! Why must the world i live in revolve around words like rapist. Like kidnapper. Like killer. Like murderer. Everyday there's garanteed to be someone killed. Someone murdered. Someone raped. Someone bashed. Someone arrested. Someone abused. Someone kidnapped. Someone missing. Someone gone. Someone missed. If the world i live in is no longer safe. Is it even humane, to lock me up for good. If the world i live in is no longer peaceful. Is it right, to deprive me of all i love. If the world i live in is no longer the same. Isn't it wrong to still keep living on in de past when its just time to move on.

Some people change for the better. And some might change for the worst. Whatever the change is, i've heard a million times how someone can change another. Fact is i don't like changing people. I prefer to just take people for who they are. God made everyone different. And we should all embrace the tiny speck of speciality in us. If the whole wide world were to change to be some crazy rule abiding country loving humble person, we might as well jus have all the same names as well as likes, hates, phobias, etc etc. And really, it seriously pisses me off when people walk to me either with a purpose to tell me to change or to tell me to change someone. When the fact is maybe you might want whoever to change, but if whoever isn't willin to change it aint possible. I didn change anyone. Maybe i'll start after i change myself first. I'm fully aware my mum hates who i am, some of the people i know think i'm very lame. Well, those are facts of me. And i'm not changing. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Never. So, don't ask me to make Joshua straight. Joshua's perfectly gay the way he is. xD. And most certainly i did not change anything about u, Hydde. It is you who decided to change and expected me to follow your lead but i didn. And i guess you jus cant live up to that. Maybe you're trying to set a good example. But in the past few days, all i see was how much of a jerk you can be sometimes. Don't blame Joshua. The you that is "matured" should've controlled. And don't dare you say i asked you to change. My exact words,"...i don't really get matured people.i don't like them somehow..." I know i told you before. Do not blame me for what you have become. Don't point your finger at me for your family problems. I didn kill ur mum or something. Don't get mad at everyone that's now against you. They have their reasons.

Childhood is a period where no one dies.
Where dolls talk.
And purple dinosaurs dance and sing.
Where everything is a curiousity.
And even nothingness is something.
Childhood is a period where no one is stupid.
Where imaginations run free.
And fairies and monsters exist.
Where bedtime story and teddys comfort.
And candy's all the joy.
Childhood is a period where everythings upside down.
Where colouring books and crayons rule.
And silly stick figures that mean so much.
Where finger painting pawns.
And thumb sucking was ok.
Childhood is a period i want to stay til my very last breath.

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