25 August 2008

** Fifty Four **

i really dont know what to say anymore...
really i dont...

1.00am
H: hey rach....

R:what...sleeping la

H:still angry eh?!

R:you think?!

H:sorry lohhhhhhhh

R:sorry no cure...idiot

H:why so cold to me now....

R:cannot la....my wish la

H:dont liddat la...i screw up one time nia....

R:what one time?!?! before that you did once too...and i forgave you for that
and if you're going to go around being a friend in the begining to my friends and
suddenly treat them like trash............

H:hello....she was getting on my nerves...and so was HE

R:*silence*

H:why you have to...so.....

R:whats your problem...he's just my friend la...friend oso cannot meh?!

H:friends oso dont until...

R:whats your freakin problem la!!!! what you want me to do...
no mix with any of my other friends that arent girls la?!?!?!
is that what you want me to do?!?!
well...then....
sorry mister....

H:no no....dont get angry rach...

R:fine i dont get angry...

H:but you are still angry...

R:whats your point...

H:*sighs* rach....why...you...

R:why me what?!?!

H: i thought u....

R:you better speak in full sentences can or not?!?
its not like i can complete your sentences!!!

H:*sigh*

R:Look....

H:im listening...

R:dont try to deny it...there's a distance between us now...

H:yeah...but...

R:shut up...let me talk....

R:tell me something...the you that i bunked with during the camp...
is no longer here...and i really dont understand why you changed...

H:you wanna know why?!?!?
it cuz...knowing you made me realize how immature and stupid i've been

R:you calling me stupid and immature now?!?!

H:no...no...not like that...no i didnt mean that...i mean ME...
no...you isten to me....

R:no,H,no....YOU listen to ME....

H:this is silly rach...can we not do this?!

R:you are the one that called...

H:i called to make up not break up....

R:too bad for you then....

i hung up...
didnt want to hear anymore...

even taking it a bit a day
isnt gonna make anything better

its like lighting a match...
you start a fire...
burning the end of it...
giving you light...
without knnowing how much pain the match is in...

i'll be the match...


i feel a certain part of me that wants to just kill myself for all i know.
it's like...
why the hell does my life has to be so freaking complicated?!
why the hell do i have to go through all this crap?!
man...it's not like i really need it...





yeah my relatives say
ITS JUST A PHASE

what's the problem with the world when i dont talk
i just did you people a favour of making the world a more quieter place
nothing wrong with that?!?!



my mum expects me to be miss owh-so-perfection barbie of a doll
and she comes up with all kinds of
WAYS n MEANS

to change that simple fact



is it really that hard...
to accept me for who i am?!?!






gosh...school.....
i go through school today
bare able to walk...
im not gonna complain about the pain...
it's normal...
it's just one of those chapters in life
where one day seems to take forever to finish
i feel as if i've spent my whole day
just plain walking...
which...hurts...
well...tomorrow taekwondo...
lets just see how i make through that....xD

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