** Eighty Seven **

i hate it. how everyone comes telling me how great X is. how everyone comes telling how much i am like X. i hate it. i am not trying to be X. and i am most certainly not tyring to clone X. i dont clone people. it's idiotic to clone someone.

i despise it. how everyone compares me with X. how people tell me facts about me and X clearly i know. it's like as if you are rubbing salt into the wound. making things worst. i despise it. how everyone thinks X is better. how everyone takes me as second best to X.

i hate it. how everyone assumes i know where X is all the time. how everyone expects me to be stuck with X all the time. i hate it. how everyone likes X. how everyone loves X. how everyone simply adores whatever X does.

i despise it. how everyone sees me as a second to X. how everyone assumes i am copying whatever X does. how everyone thinks im in love with X. i despise it. how my self confidence gets crushed around X. how i feel so unknown around X. how X makes me feel more than invisble.

i hate it. how X does nothing but get all the attention. how everyone worships X. how everyone finds X so awesome. i hate it. how much i try X still remains on top. how much X undermines my confidence. how much X makes me feel so uselessly fugly. how X gets chances i'd never get.


then maybe. this might just be a little thing called jelousy. i know it is. it's so obvious it is. and how much i hate this. there are days i wish i was X. and days i just want to hang X to death for doing this to me.

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

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i am depressed...very...