** Sixty Two **
fuhhh...i just stayed up finishing my sister's blog...xD
yeah
and my mother is crapping again
being all paranoid and stuff
she should just be......um......
people say SCHOOL WORK
understand school work
process the data
file into folder
save
that's all!!!!!
do you know what happens when u have TOO MANY folders?
you get so fucking confused
you wont know whats what
so when i say "school work"
that's the end
end of the line
full stop
noktah
dot
end
finish
no comma koma all
FULL STOP
HALT
you want so much details fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you wants i give you
Page?
Paragraph?
Chapter?
Sentence?
Word?
Letter?
Subject?
Teacher?
The microscopic dust on the book?
HAR?!?!?!?!
Which finger i use to type?
Which letter i press the most?
What font i using?
How many time's i breathed?
ISHHHHHHH....
according to her....she has the right
i say...she's being paranoid
i wonder what's gonna happen when i start bringing guys over to my house
i find it ridiculous
know why i'm not bothered to really get to know guys?!?!?!
cuz everytime i decide to tell my mum about them
she's ask all kinds of Questions i find real idiotic
i mean like....
age, birthday, sex[jus in case], name, siblings, school
yeah these are normal...
but address?!?!
i can tell you i dont know michells's add, esther's add, amanda's add, mun-mun's add, cecilia's add, andrianna's add
actually the only add i know is
MINE
i dont understand....
OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD
IS IT A CRIME FOR ME TO STAY UP LATE?!?!?!
WILL I DIE IF I DO?!?!?
DAMN...WTF IS WITH MY PARENTS AND STAYING UP LATE??
tsk tsk...
i really...
zen zen wakaranaii...
i know better than to fight fire with fire when it comes to my mum but dont tell me you expect me to be lil miss sunshine when she's screamin her lungs out at me for no apparent reasons sometimes and when i want to defend myself she assumes i'm shouting back at her well under the circumstances who wouldnt she assumes many things that i do thats right very wrong she wants me to communicate to her like i do to my friends i do that and she thinks im being rude yeah i know im rude but not to the extreme extent hell i just asked why the hell does she want so much details and she answers dont talk to me about hell What the F**K is the connection?!?!
and there are times she's in that purky mood reminds me so much of all the bitchy cheerleaders in my school im not calling her bitchy im calling the cheerleaders in my school bitchy somehow i cant stand people being too happy its just weird its like its so extremely fake to be so extremely happy yeah with those fake smiles plastered on their faces ahhh heck cares what they are i just hate happy people sometimes no all the time
maybe i feel like such a failure for a reason. i mean it's not like i'm doing anything to make my parents point and say "ayyeee...thats my daugther you knowww..."
yeah maybe that'll happen with my sister. cuz really...all i do right nowis wreak havoc into this family of mine. and even as i try it aint gonna help. my mother just lectured me again. and yes i answered rudely . but you have to understand MY side of the story. cuz most of the time no one hears my side. they hear her's and assume it's the right one.
so i'm staying finishing up my stuff. i wonder how many people in this world hate that word. STUFF. it's like undefine in math. infinite in add math. unknown. yes i am angry at my mum right now. i'd type out all her smses she sent me. from the first one itself she's screaming through sms. next time dont bring your phone with you rachel...ahh..wait...no...den she'll have to come down which is even worst. yeah. Umi...i beg of you not to come and tell me how great and how much you adore my mum. i dont give a damn ok??!! you want to take my place in this family go ahead. no one's stopping you. cuz right now everyday seems to go on forever and ever and i know i dont belong here.
yeah. i pay a hefty price of being different. what my parents want. is something i truely cannot be. i like myself just the way i am. shouldn't they too??!! that is if they still want to call me their daughter. if not then that's fine really. this world is too small for one Rachel anyway.
people forget. people make mistakes. so why does my mum make a BIG WHOOP about one tiny mistake. its not like i did it on purpose. and i got myself into this mess i'm getting myself out. i didnt ask for help or anything. i dont understand why you have to come. be angry. you want to patch up this bridge we have and yet you dont even realize that the only thing you're doing is making it harder and harder to reach out. i know when you're angry and i run for cover. but when i'm angry, you come and rub salt into the wound. why?!
i need to thank her. to whoever that wrote me the letter today. thank you. yeah. maybe i took it as extreme oddness at first. but right now. that strangeness is gone. and maybe after you read this you wont be writing anymore. but really...thank you for that letter. right now...it really made my day...
it is crying
the one so silent, flowed like rain
graceful
no more
this is a photograph of me
and i
have fallen far from grace
yeah
and my mother is crapping again
being all paranoid and stuff
she should just be......um......
people say SCHOOL WORK
understand school work
process the data
file into folder
save
that's all!!!!!
do you know what happens when u have TOO MANY folders?
you get so fucking confused
you wont know whats what
so when i say "school work"
that's the end
end of the line
full stop
noktah
dot
end
finish
no comma koma all
FULL STOP
HALT
you want so much details fine!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you wants i give you
Page?
Paragraph?
Chapter?
Sentence?
Word?
Letter?
Subject?
Teacher?
The microscopic dust on the book?
HAR?!?!?!?!
Which finger i use to type?
Which letter i press the most?
What font i using?
How many time's i breathed?
ISHHHHHHH....
according to her....she has the right
i say...she's being paranoid
i wonder what's gonna happen when i start bringing guys over to my house
i find it ridiculous
know why i'm not bothered to really get to know guys?!?!?!
cuz everytime i decide to tell my mum about them
she's ask all kinds of Questions i find real idiotic
i mean like....
age, birthday, sex[jus in case], name, siblings, school
yeah these are normal...
but address?!?!
i can tell you i dont know michells's add, esther's add, amanda's add, mun-mun's add, cecilia's add, andrianna's add
actually the only add i know is
MINE
i dont understand....
OF ALL THAT IS GOOD IN THE WORLD
IS IT A CRIME FOR ME TO STAY UP LATE?!?!?!
WILL I DIE IF I DO?!?!?
DAMN...WTF IS WITH MY PARENTS AND STAYING UP LATE??
tsk tsk...
i really...
zen zen wakaranaii...
i know better than to fight fire with fire when it comes to my mum but dont tell me you expect me to be lil miss sunshine when she's screamin her lungs out at me for no apparent reasons sometimes and when i want to defend myself she assumes i'm shouting back at her well under the circumstances who wouldnt she assumes many things that i do thats right very wrong she wants me to communicate to her like i do to my friends i do that and she thinks im being rude yeah i know im rude but not to the extreme extent hell i just asked why the hell does she want so much details and she answers dont talk to me about hell What the F**K is the connection?!?!
and there are times she's in that purky mood reminds me so much of all the bitchy cheerleaders in my school im not calling her bitchy im calling the cheerleaders in my school bitchy somehow i cant stand people being too happy its just weird its like its so extremely fake to be so extremely happy yeah with those fake smiles plastered on their faces ahhh heck cares what they are i just hate happy people sometimes no all the time
maybe i feel like such a failure for a reason. i mean it's not like i'm doing anything to make my parents point and say "ayyeee...thats my daugther you knowww..."
yeah maybe that'll happen with my sister. cuz really...all i do right nowis wreak havoc into this family of mine. and even as i try it aint gonna help. my mother just lectured me again. and yes i answered rudely . but you have to understand MY side of the story. cuz most of the time no one hears my side. they hear her's and assume it's the right one.
so i'm staying finishing up my stuff. i wonder how many people in this world hate that word. STUFF. it's like undefine in math. infinite in add math. unknown. yes i am angry at my mum right now. i'd type out all her smses she sent me. from the first one itself she's screaming through sms. next time dont bring your phone with you rachel...ahh..wait...no...den she'll have to come down which is even worst. yeah. Umi...i beg of you not to come and tell me how great and how much you adore my mum. i dont give a damn ok??!! you want to take my place in this family go ahead. no one's stopping you. cuz right now everyday seems to go on forever and ever and i know i dont belong here.
yeah. i pay a hefty price of being different. what my parents want. is something i truely cannot be. i like myself just the way i am. shouldn't they too??!! that is if they still want to call me their daughter. if not then that's fine really. this world is too small for one Rachel anyway.
people forget. people make mistakes. so why does my mum make a BIG WHOOP about one tiny mistake. its not like i did it on purpose. and i got myself into this mess i'm getting myself out. i didnt ask for help or anything. i dont understand why you have to come. be angry. you want to patch up this bridge we have and yet you dont even realize that the only thing you're doing is making it harder and harder to reach out. i know when you're angry and i run for cover. but when i'm angry, you come and rub salt into the wound. why?!
i need to thank her. to whoever that wrote me the letter today. thank you. yeah. maybe i took it as extreme oddness at first. but right now. that strangeness is gone. and maybe after you read this you wont be writing anymore. but really...thank you for that letter. right now...it really made my day...
it is crying
the one so silent, flowed like rain
graceful
no more
this is a photograph of me
and i
have fallen far from grace
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