** Two Hundred and Thirteen **

watching it from the big screen as your favourite actor and actress kiss. watch how they hold hands as the sunset by the beach makes everything dream like. watch them fall asleep in each other's arms.

but its all different.

when it is your hand being held. when it is your lips being kissed. when it is that one person that makes even the shittiest day the best day ever. when it is that one person that keeps you smiling ear to ear. when it is that one person that you know is worth all the pain you're going through. being with that one person feels like heaven on earth.

but its all different.

when you find yourself thorn between two sides of the story. when you twist and turn at night in bed thinking it through. when it becomes the main reason you cant sleep at night. when nightmare becomes reality and there's nothing you can do about it. when there's no u-turns. no rewinds. no undo. no ctrl+z.

but its all different.

because to you no matter how much it stings thinking about it over and over again, to you it is worth every bit of pain you go through. you sit behind the wheel. hoping to ram your car so hard into something you die instantly. you hope every night when you close your eyes, you never have to open them to see sunrise again. to a point where you're alive but somehow you feel empty. like going through the pointless motions of the day just the fall asleep hoping to never see tomorrow.

but its all different.

when life becomes so much better with that one person. when everything feels as if it could never be better. even if its just the two of you with the awkward silence in between. its the best feeling in the world. where you go through the day just because at the end of the day that one person's there. to make evrything worth while all over again.

honestly.

when i met you.

i never knew you would mean so much to me.

and now.

it seems like the world wants to take you away from me.

そばにいてほしいよ。