** Two Hundred and Eleven **

through the looking glass. is a place i know. and yet it is a place i have never stepped foot.
through the looking glass. is a place i grow numb to. and yet it is a place i die to be.
through the looking class. is a heaven that has become my escape. and yet i cannot run.
though i am untied and unbarred, i am.

and when the sun finally sets in the east.

i am there.

i used to deny the fact that people say i have changed. i dont anymore.
it's like when you have more independence you tend to grow up with it. and trying to step back into the me few years back is pretty excruciatingly hard.

first and foremost. i apologize for getting everyone worried about me cuz of the last few posts.

i am ok.

its juat a phase of time in my life where i am like this. not really hating life entirely but somehow blaming life for ruining it for me.

see...you dont need a relationship to go through am emotional roller coaster.

LIFE ITSELF IS ONE.

talking about life. its amazing how i grew up with Disney but now i blame them for filling my head with all this stupid fantasy. the world continues to spin as Disney, Dreamworks, Pixars continue to fill little girls' minds with the dream that one day, if you waiting long enough, your prince charming will find you. and he will be the most perfect looking guy in all the land. and he'll take you on a ride on his white stallion into deeper parts of the woods where to sparkling water runs free. he'll whisk you away to a place called heaven on earth. then he whispers the sweetest little thing that only the two of you can hear. you catch his gaze. slowly and gently, he lands a peck on ur lips. and holds you in his arms. he'll fight to the death for you. go through pain for you. just for you to be safe.

so you grow up with this thing in your head. that one day, your prince charming will come save you from your tower and slay the dragon guarding it.

you know what they dont show you?

they dont show you how much it hurts. they fill you up with the joys and laughs of being happy with someone who you know is destined to be with you. they fill you up with the fact that everything will be okay.

THEY DONT SHOW YOU REALITY.

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i have my tests again in 2weeks time. YES. AGAIN!!
and surprisingly, my first sem will be finishing soon.

GAWD!! ITS ALREADy AUGUST!!!!

gosh. how life just passes you by. it feels like it was just yesterday i started my CAL.

oh well...

come on rachel!! STUDY!! STUDY!!
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tonight there is a meteor shower. but sitting under the dark sky waiting for one to pass me by means nothing when all i can do is wish you were next to me instead of my dog.

toodles,
Rach