24 April 2009

** Hundred and Twenty Four **

Tell me. Why'd you have to make things so complicated.

i don't understand.

i don't get it.

i'm so sick and tired of everything today.

it's been a shitty day.


i'm warning you

i am so sick and tired. of having people poke their noses into my business. snoop around where they're not supposed to. what the fuck happened to personal space and privacy damn it. being my parents doesn't give you a god damn right to do such a thing even if you're paying the bills. i don't care if you read this. i seriously don't anymore. i have my freedom of speech. punish me if you want. i hate this. i hate everything. what is fucking wrong with my life damn it. it's like it's going down the fucking sewers!!!! i don't care anymore of how i say i will stop swearing. if you can't stand me fucking sit down!! i don't give a fuck what you people think anymore. i don't give a shit what you're all gonna say. right now even the SIMPLEST task of getting out of the house for one miserable day feels like a whole lot of bullshit. it's like i have to go through all the fucking paper works and countless form before i can step out of this fucking place. i hate the world i live in. and yet why do some people look so happy. why the fuck am i so unhappy!!!! everyday i wish i was someone else. i think these are one of the reasons why i'm not too excited getting my driving license. heck!!! i'd still have to get permission don't i?!?! seriously people. how much more hate and dispise do i have to express before you watch what you say to me about my mum in front of me.
"oh she's very nice..."
"nothing la...she smiled at me and said ok.."
"kong...i love ur mum..."
you know what i say. cut the crap people. you don't live with her every second of your life. you wouldn't know what i'd going through. it's unbelievable how much fucking hatrate i have in me right now. i just so sick. so sick of everything and everyone around me. i just want everyone to go. go far far away from me. don't touch me. don't even talk to me. just... leave me be...i'm fucking hating myself right now...

i'm sorry mum...for it is me who cannot change...

all dried out of tears,

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