** Hundred and Twenty Seven **

i just realized.
it's been almost a year since i first posted my first post.
a figment of my life has wasted 365days.

well something funny happened today

Umi was playing with the jelly thing we put in the plant. and she kinda threw one at Ramya and I and it kinda landed in between us. at that time i saw her throwing somehting but i didn't really bother what. Joanna was screaming at Umi for that.
so during Bio, we were checking our papers and i kinda noticed the jelly Umi threw. i picked it up and put it on Ramya's black book.

Ramya: What's this?!?! why putting on my book all!! want me to put on your sketch book issit?!
Kong: *sneers*
Ramya: *takes her book with the jelly on top*

ramya wanted to put the jelly on Andrea's table. but...

Ramya: OMG. i think it fell.
Kong: *laughs*
Ramya: I think it went into her bag weiii
Kong: *continues laughing*
Ramya: *goes scavenging Andrea bag*
Andrea: *notices* Eh...what you doing?!
Ramya: my eraser fell.
Andrea: oh...*puts hand in her bag to help find*
Ramya: *stands there*
Andrea: what's this?!?! [the jelly thingy broke in her bag]
Ramya: i dunno. *turns to me and starts laughing silently*
Kong: *burst out laughing*
Ramya: i think it's that jelly thing.
Andrea: how did it get here?!?!
Ramya: i don't know...my eraser not there ar...

how could you Ramya!!!!

okay one more...
today we had 2.10
so our last period was bio bio
Pn. chieng entered.
we were waiting for the bell to ring
all of us was waiting for the bell to ring

Pn. Chieng: why is the bell not ringing?
Kong: because the bell dun want to ring.
Pn. Chieng: close the door then the bell will want to ring.

i was like
okayyyyyy.............*surf*


for once...
in 5sc1 history
there was PIN DROP SILENCE for 5MINUTES!!!!
like serious silence weiii
well i was containing my laughter
somehow my class being quiet was funny to me
xD

time to study...

love,
rach
C=

** Hundred and Twenty Six **

first of all...
WTF weiii...i got like 50 for my Physics!!! 50. FIFTY. FIVE ZERO.
damn. the one science subject i was certain i'd get A1
well i tell you how much stupidity i committed.
15 minutes before the paper ended. i tore and rewrote my experiment to the constantan wire bullshit.
GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!
the orginal i answered and tore and threw into the bin was the right experiment.
i was like....
ARGHHHHHH!!!!! *stranggles self*


second of all...
who the hell are those girls that gave their name for the stupid "treasure hunt"
i will kill you all for not showing up
end up Lava, Me, Andri, Yee Wen, Ezzaty had to take part
well actually it wasn't even a treasure hunt
we just had to act according to some title they gave us
GUESS WHAT?!?!?!?!
our drama had no lines
we were just mumbling gibberish
how awesome is that!!!!!
well
we do stand a chance to win something....i think
cuz we did awesome for something without lines XD

third of all...
tuition was just...tuition
well i was doodling in tuition as usual to pass the time
cuz it sejarah add maths and maths today
i suddenly had this burst of idioticity

well if u can't make out what i wrote
i can't really help you there...

fourth of all...
i was waiting in the car for my mum to pack dinner
and i heard we the king's new song...
though they're a bunch of UGLY fellas
but their songs tell a whole different thing
so the song ringing in my head
We The Kings-Secret Valentine

we'll write a song
that turns out the lights
when both boy and girl
start suddenly shaking inside
don't waste your time
speed up your breathing
just close your eyes
we'll hope it's not for nothing at all


well my finger still hurts a bit from stapling myself
but no biggie
i'm very proud of it actually
it's the 2nd time in my life i staplered myself
so awesome

love,
rach

** Hundred and Twenty Five **

ok
announcement

I STAPLER-ED MYSELF


seriously
i did


okay enough of this nonsense
i can't sign in to msn
i've been drawing fir the past few days
just to get all this BS out of my brain

diagnostic in 2 weeks time
i need to get my grades up
so no more nonsence rachel
no more singing "Love Story"
study your Biology
no more playing the guitar
memorize your Sejarah
no more drawing
read up your Literature
no more sleeping
practise your Additional Math
no more video games
revise your Chemistry
no more msn
understand your Physics
no more distractions
improve your Bahasa Melayu
no more un-necessities
do something about Moral

time for a major lock down

a silent prayer

i no longer know what's happening to me, God. i feel very lost. i don't know what's going on with my life. i don't know where is it heading. God, i feel so mobile. like the ground i'm standing on is nothing but gravel waiting to crumble. i have lost my way in the mist of school, family and friends. and i have lost myself along with that. Lord, i cannot take this anymore. everyday feels like an endless battle i can never win. every step i make feels wrong. every choice i make feels empty. i don't know what's happening to me. i don't know whats wrong with me. i have sinned. like the many that come to you. over and over again. Lord, my life is falling apart. i'm falling apart. i don't talk to my mother and i don't even know why. i hate my dad for doing what he does to me. Lord, i am crying out to you today. i cannot take it anymore. i hate hiding myself. what have i done wrong. why am i like this Lord. why is everyone unhappy with the way i am Lord. why does my life seem so insignificant. i'm so lost. i no longer want to drive my life into jeapordy. Jesus take the wheel. take it from my hands. and save me from this road i'm on.

in Jesus's name

i ask

and i pray

amen.

** Hundred and Twenty Four **

Tell me. Why'd you have to make things so complicated.

i don't understand.

i don't get it.

i'm so sick and tired of everything today.

it's been a shitty day.

youdecide
ifyou
wantto
readthefollowing

i'm warning you


i am so sick and tired. of having people poke their noses into my business. snoop around where they're not supposed to. what the fuck happened to personal space and privacy damn it. being my parents doesn't give you a god damn right to do such a thing even if you're paying the bills. i don't care if you read this. i seriously don't anymore. i have my freedom of speech. punish me if you want. i hate this. i hate everything. what is fucking wrong with my life damn it. it's like it's going down the fucking sewers!!!! i don't care anymore of how i say i will stop swearing. if you can't stand me fucking sit down!! i don't give a fuck what you people think anymore. i don't give a shit what you're all gonna say. right now even the SIMPLEST task of getting out of the house for one miserable day feels like a whole lot of bullshit. it's like i have to go through all the fucking paper works and countless form before i can step out of this fucking place. i hate the world i live in. and yet why do some people look so happy. why the fuck am i so unhappy!!!! everyday i wish i was someone else. i think these are one of the reasons why i'm not too excited getting my driving license. heck!!! i'd still have to get permission don't i?!?! seriously people. how much more hate and dispise do i have to express before you watch what you say to me about my mum in front of me.
puhhleeezeee...the
"oh she's very nice..."
"nothing la...she smiled at me and said ok.."
"kong...i love ur mum..."
you know what i say. cut the crap people. you don't live with her every second of your life. you wouldn't know what i'd going through. it's unbelievable how much fucking hatrate i have in me right now. i just so sick. so sick of everything and everyone around me. i just want everyone to go. go far far away from me. don't touch me. don't even talk to me. just... leave me be...i'm fucking hating myself right now...



i'm sorry mum...for it is me who cannot change...

all dried out of tears,
rach

** Hundred and Twenty Three **

INTERVENSI IS DONEEE!!!!!!
gosh i don't know why i'm rejoicing but i just am...xD
well if i dont fail sejarah it's good enough
cuz i didnt even manage to write ANY of my essay
i dont even know what to crap weiiii....T^T

well math's was awesome as usual...
though i did a few stupid mistakes...
its normal..not like i want to get 100 for it
lets see if i can get at least B for Bio...
though i kinda screwed that paper up...
i really don't get bio...its so stupid

here's how i'd answer bio questions...
1. what is the definition of defaecate?
Shitting
2. describe the process of defaecation.
Eat the food. Food gets digested. And you release it when you need to.
And remember to flush and wash your hands.
3. what is the cause of constipation?
You don't eat your veggies when your parents ask you to. That's why la...
4. what are the effects of constipation?
Well you can't shit properly cuz ur shit won't come out. Leads to crying and some
terrible unbearable stomache.
5. what are your advices to someone who suffers from constipation?
Use more force and shit the damn thing out. You'll feel better after that.
Either that or you end up somewhere else.

Fuhhh...full marks...xD

owh and i made my own chemical equation during moral...
i had LOADS of extra time...

rachanoic acid + rachanol --> rachylrachanoate + water

how cools is that!!!!
i'm an ester!!! XD
well then i tried to write with my left hand to pass the time...
thrust me, you DON'T want to see it
it's just a bunch of squigly lines
then i tried writing with both
and i got confused after a while

i saw this gecko picture on the national geographic magazine
so adorable...
so i brought it to school along with my designated sketch book
i have A LOT of sketch books okay...xD
i was sketching it while waiting for ELS to start
LIT. SOC. is now ENG LANG SOC [ELS]
it was breezy so i didn't mind sitting outside the english room
i like how everyone just ignores my existance
well so i was doing my gecko...

then shangeeth and farzy were corrupting everyone else
with the PhD issue...
making chemical equations and stuff
chemical properties...
disgusting people...xD
then we played 007 piak! aiyak!
lawls...if you're not from the gang of ours i don't think u'll even know
we used to play all kinds of stupid games
come to think of it
i used to play batu seremban...
i still have them...i could play with both hands last time
i don't think i can now...
skills have faded. xD

then i went to tuition.
I GOT SCOLDED BY THE BIO TEACHER!!!!!!
gosh do all bio teachers hate me...xD
well i wasn't paying attention and making so much noise
obviously i got scolded
she went, "if you can't absorb anymore i allow you to go home now."
"you're disturbing the class and my concentration."
truely i am...
but what teacher's never realize is...

if your teaching was ANYTHING but interesting...
don't you think i'd be listening?!?!

no wonder i'm struggling with bio

OU!! OU!!
guess what i dropped bio...
literally i dropped bio...
heh...
i dropped my bio refference book...
i dropped bio...xD
i dropped moral too...
yeah i dropped the damn book!!!

okay...
enough with the spur of glee and happiness...
i'm just happy for one thing though...
last year i really though my chemistry was going down the drain...
so...

THANK YOU PN GRACE!!!!!!


love,
Rach



this sounds so wrong...
thanks to shangeeth's corruption today...

(10:04 PM) Hao: shit la... i fkin screwd car today
zzz
i dunno why.. all of a sudden
(10:04 PM) i-papercut-me.bl: why the hell did u go and screw the car?!?!
(10:04 PM) Hao: nvr push stick further in
den the car shake shake shake shake
i was like wtf
zzz

gosh...xD
too much concentrated sulphuric acid...

** Hundred and Twenty Two **

i feel so happy today

gosh...i wonder why...

i'll tell you!!!! XD

well today Apple jie was ONLINE!!!!

gosh it's been like ages since i talked to her since

she left malaysia

Apple's now teaching in the UK

for all you peeps who don't know...

well that wasn't what i was exstatic about

one of her students there showed her

my webpage on DA!!!!

and she told them she knew me

and they started planning a school trip to malaysia

so that she could take them to meet me!!!

*cheh..perasan pulak*

well then again...i don't really consider my art like awesome...

it's kinda shitty really...xD

but i have fans in the UK!!!!

do you?!?!?!?!!?

*hidung kembang dah....*

but...the down side was...

they all thought i was like 10 or 11 years old

T^T

kay...next thing...

CONGRATULATIONS JOSHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah..the one and only joshua got his CD out and running

well i don't know whether it'll be released to public

but guess what...i got the autographed one!!!

wakakakakakaka

i'll sell it on e-bay once he gets famous!!!!

$$$$$$

well...josh u better work hard this time...

don't go haywired again

i slap you ar if u screw this up!!!

i really will

there was like ceramah for the whole day practically

and i did my lisan today!!!!

yeah it's a great thing okay....

well i never liked the sunway college people

therefore i aint going there!!! xD

besides yee wei's going there

i don't think i want to see my cousin for the entire duration i'm around campus

okay anyway

i was kinda happy with myself today

i ate PEDAS!!!!

one day dont eat cannot

i'm like addicted to it or something

*slaps forehead* what am i talking about

I AM ADDICTED TO IT!!!!

woots...

cuz its so awesome

but today's one i put 3 spoons and i finish the soup

conclusion:

it's not spicy at all

cuz usually when i eat i'll be like crying at the first sip

so i should've put 4 spoons...xD

then my intestines feel like it's burning

i feel like a dragon!!! xD

hahaha...

okay okay...

over happiness...

love ya~

rach

** Hundred and Twenty One **

gosh intervensi is like next week.
and then after that is diagnostic.
rachel kong.
WTF are you doing in science stream
when you're gonna end up doing art&design.
WTF are you doing in science stream
when you're going to end up doing something out of the sciences.
gosh.
WTF am i doing man....

okay. i need to study soon.
my biology is in ICU already.
so is my add math if i dont do anything about it.

GAHHH...
i haven't done my moral project as well
and it needs to be handed in before diagnostic

i shall only sleep when i need to
i shall drown myself every second of the day
gosh....
i need a break from all this damn it
it seems to just get worst day by day
and yet some ppl say tomorrow's better than today
heck
everyday seems to just get worst

and right now i've started procrastinating on my work
which technically is not good
so i find myself trying to decide whether to be sleepy and do my work
and drag my feet to school tomorrow like a zombie
or have the rest i need and not completing my work
and rush my work at school or find ways to get out of it
gosh...

so yeah i have to decide what i'm gonna do soon
well if i don't
i'd just do form6
but right now even form 6 is scary damn it
everything's scary after form5
i'd rather keep sitting for SPM

well i was VERY agitated yesterday...
some people just don't realize the importance of privacy
cuz they just can't help but stick their FUCKING nose into everything single thing
shesh...



well i'm off to finish my work.
i went senile the week i lost my beloved sketch book.
whoever took it...
you better hope i don't find you...
you useless piece of shit...

peace~

** Hundred and Twenty **

i really don't know what i am doing anymore. seems as if i'm fighting a battle where the odd are almost against me. as if i was in this world for the first time. everything seems so alien to me.

i have ran out of alphabets for today. life just never seemed the same as it was during the holidays.

no. i do not feel the heat of SPM.

study like crazy.

i wonder why.

i do feel like a mess right now.

like nothing seems to make sense. like some add math question that seems impossible to solve when the answer's just staring me right in the face.
like some essay question i know nothing of when in fact everything is up there, just nothing's coming out.
like a simple puzzle given in my hand but i took one big winding turn to get the solution when there was just a straight road to it.

nothing.