23 June 2009

** Hundred and Thirty Five **

how do i begin to explain myself.

well, put in mind there're two sides to the story.

here's my side.

okay.

here goes

i do not deny the fact that i am short tempered. my fuse is very short and no doubt i lose my cool really quickly. that's a little down turn of who i am.
so we were deciding on what to do for our page spread on the school magazine. our original idea was already taken by Science2. not that i'm blaming Science2 for stealing our idea. so we were talking on what and how and whatever else necessary. trying to get things straight soon. the dead line's on friday. go figure.
honestly speaking i seriously got irritated with Shangeeth and Dudu playing at the back. it was bearable at first. then i just got ticked by it. they were just irregardless of the situation we were in and started pushing and playing about. here we are trying get things done and there they are playing at the background. yes. i admit. i got seriously irritated with that.

i screamed. at Dudu and Shangeeth.

shouted at them. "can the two of you stop playing and just sit down?!?!"

yes. i was harsh.

i can't remember if Shangeeth said anything. but i did say one thing that got her pissed.

i think i said, "what the fuck are you two doing?!?!"

i can't remember word for word what happened.

then Shangeeth said, "what?! it's not like we're disturbing you?!"

then i said, "we're here trying to figure out what to do for our class layout and you're there playing!!"

maybe Shangeeth said something after that. i don't know.

all i know was, Ramya and Jose telling me to shut up. then someone rubbed my back. i don't know who.

but i shut up. i backed off. before it got way out of hand.

trust me. it will. if i didn't

i don't know how Dudu took that. but Shangeeth was seriously mad, upset, pissed off and whatever other words you can put in.

i have never shouted at someone and sweared at them and actually mean it.

well, this be the first.

i have never had a fight with my friend either.

well, this be the first.

i didn't even see Shangeeth leave class. she probably stormed off. i don't blame her.

i was rude.

i was very rude.

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damn it. trials are coming. and it's gonna be less than half a year before SPM comes. and guess what?!?! i'm still not studying. yes i am freaking out. and i only have like 7A for my diagnostic. which really sucks. i better do something about the sucky results. bring my A2s to A1s and my B's and C's to A1s as well.

yeah yeah rachel...

keep saying that...

and not do anything...

*slaps self* stupid girl...


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