** Two Hundred **

OMG! TWO HUNDRED ALREADY?!?! o_O! i blog too much. XD

today is monday. and i guess it wasn't so bad of a day. i sent my jeans to wash during the weekends. conviniently forgotten about monday. so all i did was wear a black pleated skirt, a white collared shirt and knee length socks. and for some reason, dressing so made my day really awkward. first of all i came to college and on my way in i bumped into a few seniors and they stared at me.

so today was filled with questions and comments about my dressing.

guess the day was pretty much ok cuz our applied lecturer's falling sick and decided to cancel the lecture in the afternoon. so yeah. practically everyone was really "devastated" when he told during the morning tutorial class. LOL.

so we had 2.5 hours break. i went back to H block after the first morning class to return the attendance book (before i forget again). then the Qclass people stared as well. since im walking by might as well ask where they're going for lunch. well i went to lunch at TBR with Elie, Yue Ting, Melvin, Jiun Wai and Eugene. Hahahahahaha! EUGENE BELANJA!!! (our drinks only tho... still better than nothing ^^) Jiun Wai so good...ask him order for me, he really go order for me. and the bowl of curry noodles was so "BIG".

after eating, they (as in melvin, jiun wai and eugene) was supposed to go do their MS folio. as far as i know. and i dont know how they ended up not going. i wanted to go CC to charge my MP3. too many ppl. so forget it. then we all went to the library. well practically everyone was there. i was sorta trying to understand my applied maths. and halfway through i felt so darn sleepy. i literally couldn't keep my eyes open. at least i brought my MP3. which surprisingly lasted the entire day with only half battery life left. =D

then had chemistry. which was ok i guess. just the fact that Jiun Wai kept figiting beside me making the chair squeak. LOL. and yes i was very sleepy at that time. after chemistry was physics. last class of the day! WOOT!!! =D the work she gave made me suddenly realize. i read first question, "shit! dunno." next question, "OMG! WTF IS THIS?!" third question, "uhhhhh...what?!" LOL. yeah i literally forgotten everything. kinda took me forever to get the concept again.

i had like 30minutes wait before my mum comes. went to Mr. Keong's place to hand in the chemistry tutorials with Jiun Wai. i decide to go to canteen and wait. then sat around with Merwin, Karmen, Nixon and two other guys whom i have forgotten their names. OTL. and they all decided to leave. i guess to pass the time, i copied Jiun Wai's answers for physics. damn i really need to revise on that. was going to draw my graph for further pure maths, but somehow the stupid question dont make sense to me. Orz. then i went n take out further applied for no reason. LOL. i was bored i think.

so nice of Jiun Wai to wait with me. =D Thank you~

mum let me drive home today. so here's what happened.

i was driving behind this taxi. who was so fucking slow. godamnit! drive on the left lane if you wanna drive like u have all the time in the world! so i got irritated. i switched to the left lane and overtook the stupid taxi. yeah. i just shoved the car in front of him. obviously he honked at me. then my mum was like telling me i shouldn't do that bla bla bla. after awhile, the taxi took the right and overtook me. and he literally was breaking non stop in front of me. D< yeah he kept staring at me from the rear view mirror. WHAT?! TAXI MAN?! NVR SEE BEFORE PRETTY GIRL AR?!?! if my mum wasn't in the car, i would've gave him the finger.

so fine my mum was like "leave him alone. dont get irritated. bla bla bla." fine. i went to the right lane and drove. i dont know WTF is this guy's problem. so i drove and like went pass the taxi at a corner. and he honked at me AGAIN!! idiot.


LMAO!!!

what a day...



toodles,
Rach

** Hundred and Ninety Nine **

kinda weird how things turn out sometimes. one thing i realized is how sometimes life doesn't go my way. and yes there is the point of time where the rants go on and on. but after awhile. it makes sense how ranting bout it wont make anything better. its not like ranting about it changes anything. so yeah. i go through the same thing i go through at school. watch people be better than me and know that it cant be helped that my brain doesnt function like theirs. i do try. but somehow nothing works. they still get better grades. and no doubt some part of me feels terrible. wondering why am i such a stupid piece of carbon life form in the face of this earth. and sometimes i feel left behind. yeah. through all that happiness i display everyday. honestly. i lied. being happy is not close to how i feel. but it's better to fake it than to sulk all day.

at least it gives a contemporary lightness the burden life throws on my shoulder.



almost 1month plus in college and i guess things do seem further away than they used to. the years i spent in school made me realize i am no genius. and atempting to compete would result in depression suicide. i dont see the crime of dreaming big. but sometimes i tell people i'm gonna work for dreamworks one day, they say the regular response. but somewhere in there, i know they're laughing at me. i have no idea how many times have i said to myself that i have to start studying and working hard during my SPM. and now im doing it again. its kinda retarded really. i keep reminding myself if i dont do well i'm gonna be disappointed. nothing seems to work. and its prominent i dont have any self control at all. though i have my priorities straight most of the time.

the road is straight ahead. but im walking as if it is a winding one.



college starts again tomorrow. and as usual i havent done any of my tutorials. i probably will later. maybe on wednesday or something. like last week. LOL. somehow i prefer it when i had no choice but to do my homework during high school. now when i sorta have a choice whether to do or not. obviously i'd always find something more interesting to do with my life than tutorials that would practically result in an utter waste of time. the week ends passed by so quickly this week. damn. two days felt like half a day. i woke up today and i was like "WHAT?! ITS SUNDAY ALREADY?!" or maybe its cuz im still in the holiday mood. hahaha.

one more thing to add to my time wasting factor. i'm having my exams in 1week time. i think. more or less. and i haven't started a single shit on anything. which would probably result in more last minute studying. wow. im typing very quickly. probably cuz i havent taken my shower and i need to take it after i finish this post.

so here's that famous qoute from a long time ago.

IT'S TIME TO STUDY RACHEL.

** Hundred and Ninety Eight **

Hi everyone! =D its been a while since i blogged. well i had a new puppy yesterday.


This is Twinkle. She's a she.


Twinkle and Pumbaa.


Getting to know the neighbours. XD
(actually they were barking and growling at each other)



THE LOVE TRIANGLE. LOL.
(p.s. the neighbour's dog is male as well.)


HERE's TWINKLE!! =D


AND HERE'S TWINKLE AGAIN. LOL.


Baby...i can't reach you...T^T


Don't talk to me. D<
Baby...i didn't mean to call you a bitch...


Twinkle! Hey!
Twinkle! Hey!
Hey! Twinkle! Hey!
Look Here!
Hey! Hey! Twinkle!
Twinkle! Twinkle! Hey!
Hey!

LOOK!




Now...

Give our readers a SMILE. =)


^^


well mum let me drive home after picking up my sister from school today. lol. she panicked. as expected. and there was an idiot honking at me while i was at the roundabout. it wasn't me who's slow. the cars in front were slow as well. and he was honking like some idiot. so i got pissed i started scolding him in the car. and my mum kept asking me to calm down. =___=

today was a really really long day of college.

toddles~
Rach

** Hundred and Ninety Seven **

so i had a two week break from college. i have my tutorial and Malaysian Studies folio to pass the time. not the mention the fact that the internet was down for more than a week. nothing to distract me right?

wrong.

i spent the first week of my holiday, most of the time moaping around my house. since i just got my license and parents wont let me drive out and there's no car for me to use anyway. so i'm stuck at home. plus my parents are working. so what do i do at home with no internet. i sleep. i practically went into hibernation mode since the first day. and soon i start to loose track of what day it was. i did force myself to finish up a few of my tutorials. but i practically didn bother to try for those i dont know how to. just leave some space and move on to the next one.

well i sorta finished the Malaysian Studies Folio. just waiting to compile the opinions and we're set to print and bind and hand the bloody thing in and get it over with. the internet's finally back. but its the same piece of shit it was back then. i dont know why my dad still doesnt want to get me broadband. he's not sick of this SHIT streamyx give us. i am.

my drawing habits lessened like they did during SPM.

but i find myself day dreaming a lot lately. half the time, about stuff that dont make sense.

then again, most of the things i think about dont make sense.

i still have about a week to go before i go back to TARC. and do my class rep duties all over again. oh well. i love being at TARC rite...

wrong.

there is not a day, i do not wish i was in TOA instead of TARC.

__________________________

somehow or rather. the world i embrace seems a lot harsher than the world everyone else lives in. its like...

i dont know whats its like...

all i know is that it sucks.

A LOT.

** Hundred and Ninety Six **

practically this show isnt all that good. kinda boring actually. dont bother wasting your time in the cinema. if it wasn't for the constant sound effects i would've slept off. even for a person who usually avoids watching movies like this. i'd have to say this movie was below my expectations. maybe it's just me. but i laughed when they got killed. and all i was waiting for was the next person to get killed. cuz all that freddy kruger popping out and scaring people. it gets boring after the first few victims. and it was pretty predictable really. the "peak-a-boo" scenes gets old after the first few tries. i thought i would have trouble sleeping after watching this show. it didn even make me jump. the movie looked like it could've been made 10years ago and turned out the same.

the only entertaiment i had was there was this group of guys sitting next to me and they went "WHUT THE FARK!!!!" for practically everything. ok. its not entertaining. its pretty annoying really. not to mention the idiot behind me who's turning my chair into some OGAWA massage chair. the guy sitting on my right was like all curled up to his buddy. and he kept going "WHUT THE FARK!!" and covering his eyes at the same time. i stared and went whut the fark too...LOL

there was one part in the movie where freddy was chasing the girl and she hid in the closet. so yeah. you have your typical "now-you-see-me-now-you-dont" scene. and when he disappeared everyone started laughing for some reason. and when he appeared next to her in the closet. it was like...no effect. LOL

technically. freddy kruger was burnt to "death". so how can u burn something that's already burnt?! besides i dont get it. if she pulled freddy into "our world" and killed him and burned him here, how did freddy end up in the "other world" again. maybe you cant kill freddy by burning him. he's grown a resistance to fire. LOL

i dont get the story. @_@

so here's to freddy kruger.

one, two, freddy kruger, i'm coming for you,
three, four, OMG! where's the door,
five, six, you need new tricks,
seven, eight, you suck eggs,
nine, ten, i'm falling asleep again.

zzzzz

** Hundred and NInety Five **

my second week in TARCollege.

i pretty much got used to the whole idea that i had to do my own homework by myself without my lecturers reminding me. and how i have to self study. i love chemistry. i love the lecturer too. =D physics is okay i guess. at least i understand. she's a bit fast but once more, at least i understand. pure maths and further pure is love! i love further pure. lecturer is okay too. but my applied maths and further applied sucks. most of the time during lectures i'm so blooody confused and dont even know what's happening. yeah it sucks.

which reminds me. i have one page of tutorial not done for that.

i probably started accepting the fact that no matter how much a rant about this my parents arent going to send me to TOA. so i guess i'll be at TARC doing my a levels for the time being.

its not that bad being in TARC. the friends i make here are pretty awesome people. yeah. not to mention the whole load of people i already know. my class has more girls now. and the numbers would probably increase when i get back on Monday. which means i'm gonna have to do my "duties" again.not that i'm complaining. i dont mind really. just gonna be troublesome again. collecting money and stuff.

internet at home really sucks. i cant stay online on msn for 5minutes without disconnecting. its so stupid. and i spend the next 10minutes trying to log back in. listening to rin & len again. i think i need to see a therapist.

there's something wrong with me.

** Hundred and Ninety Four **

my first week in TARCollege.

it was bearable i guess. so i'm doing Cambridge A Levels there. Subject combination of Chemistry, Further Maths, Maths and Physics. and i have General Paper which i can drop after sem2. and Malaysian Studies which i HAVE to pass in sem1. nice.

when i first came to TARC i was pretty unhappy. i mean. dont get me wrong. TARC is FILLED with chinese people. but unfortunately the majority do not speak my language. yea. they all speak mandrin. which kinda sucks for me. cuz i speak english. and my mandrin isnt all that good either.

first. how did i end up in TARC.

my parents were bugging me about choosing a college. first of all i already had my mind set that i wanted to do animation. and i already told my parents that. but somehow i had this sinking feeling they didn like the idea of it. they kept asking me to be an actuarist since i like maths.

so my aim at that point. was to get into RCKL or TOA at least. and when my parents asked about the course and everything i'd inform them. but they never seem that interested in it.

so it was then my dad came and ask me what i wanted to do and where i wanted to go. and i told. my dad kept pushing the idea of me doing my A levels. at some point i did argue and said it was a waste of time since i already set what i wanted to do. and all of a sudden my parents are looking for colleges offering CAL.

so. fine. my parents pushed me into the fact that i'm doomed to do my A levels whether i liked it or not. since they didn supported the fact that i wanted to start my course. my dad said i was stupid for wanting to start my course so early. according to him i should "relax" for another 1.5 years. and he goes on gloating about how he finished his A Levels in 9months. bla bla bla...

CAL is far from RELAX.

somehow i get the feeling my parents dont want me to do animation.

hoping that within this 1.5years i'd change my mind.

they tell me this is my future so i have to make the decision. but everytime i make one they go with their own decisions. so whats the point of me making all those decisions if they're not gonna take them anyway...

so i was destined to do A levels. the only question was where. and i picked TAYLORS. and i told my parents i want to go to taylors. and after all that debate. they decided to dump me to TARC. with reasons that my cousins are the product of TARC and they turned out ok. i practically gave up trying to get my way with my parents.

so TARC it is.

and when i came to TARC, i was none other that depressed with my current situation. cuz to me, i was wasting my time doing my A Levels while every other budding animator is out there doing their course. doing my A Levels was like living another 1.5years of a much harder SPM. my dad sent me to TARC saying it was cheap and nearer to our place. i dont give a damn what other reasons they wanna give me for why they sent me to TARC.

i dont.

i basically hated every minute of my life when i'm at TARC. cuz i never wanted to be here in the first place. but here i am. stuck here for another 1.5years. i'm wasting my time but i still have to do this because my parents made me.

i wanted to go to TOA. i planned to go there ever since before SPM ended.

and now. here i am. sitting by my table. sketch books replaced with tutorial books. pencils replaced with pens for writing. guide books replaced with notes for my subjects. watercolours stacked back in the shelves. brushed cleaned and shoved back into the container. art blocks kept back on the shelves.

things look like SPM all over again.

i lost count of the people who gave me the same expression when i told them i'm at TARC. honestly i dont know why i am in TARC. the only reason i can give you is that my parents made me.

so. i'm in class SN11p. a class with only 4GIRLS including me.

i start my second week in TARC tomorrow.

i guess there's nothing else to do but to grin and bear with it.

but it's not like going to TOA after my A Levels makes my A Levels any worth the time when i can go to TOA NOW.



seriously.

i'm tired of doing things i dont want to do just because someone asks me to.


Rach