** Hundred and Sixteen **

okay. let me do just this one thing. bear with me. it'll only take one sec.

i came back. ate my dinner. took my shower. went to upload the pictures i took today. and guess what. i was frantically searching for the CD. the CD Miss Wong gave me right after school. the CD i specifically shoved into my book. THAT CD. and i came home. cursing under my breath searching for the damn fucked up CD that i dont know where it is. i know i brought it back. i know i put it in my book. i know i didnt drop it. so where the fuck is that CD. grew legs and walked off. damn it.

i'm so dead.

so screwed up.

ok i'm done. now for some stupidity.

yesterday. we had bio. so obviously we went to the lab. yes?!?! and so asusual...bio class. Y-A-W-N. so i start getting restless. so i was sitting one leg folded on the chair.listening to Umi talk about how she's dying to get married and her wish to fulfill her dreams bla bla bla have kids bla bla bla...personally...SPM hasnt even finish and she'd thinking of kids...LMAO. no offence Umi.so ramya was laughing. i was laughing. josephine was laughing. i dont know what i commented, but i said something. and Ramya kinda just gave me a pat on the back. JUST A PAT ON THE BACK. and i fell forward face first. landed on my knee. both. then my hands. Ramya and Umi went paranoid. i was laughing actually. let me clear this out. RAMYA IS INNOCENT. IT'S NOT HER FAULT. cuz i kinda had the whole class wondering how i fell.

so now my knee hurts. there's a HUGEEEEE bruise on my left knee. and a little one on my right.

and now it still hurts.

and tomorrow it'll hurt.

and the day after that.

and after that.

and after that.

________________________________________________________________________

i do feel like trash the other day
especially during taekwondo
actually i always feel like that during taekwondo
like i was some sort of crappy senior
well actually i am
notknowing majority of my pattern
it's not like i have some super brain to memorise all that steps
and it's not like we're gonna be using that when we actually need it
so i dont see the point of learning so
but hey
i'm a crappy senior
and i'm still your senior
and you still bow to me
my bad
i'm just trying to make myself feel better
go figure
my brown eyes are sign of the ammount of crap my life is
_______________________________________________________________________

i planned to change my blog skin LOOOOOOOOOONG time ago
but i havent found the time
i've been waking up in the middle of the night at intervals of 1hour or so
and going back to sleep
and getting up again
until a point i'd give up and just stay awake
maybe it's the fact i haven't had coke in a while
so there goes my balance of what's left of my life

________________________________________________________________________
sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...
what do you people want to know...all i'll be doing is study...do homework...sleep...eat..school...

it's not like i'm going through so emotional break down or something...

and no doubt i wont be doing anything stupid anytime soon...

ou wait...i just did...

I LOST THE CD MISS WONG GAVE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tsk tsk tsk...

that's just me i guess...

the proud inventor of screw ups...

Rachel

** Hundred and Fifteen **

how do i start. i have nothing to blog about now a days.
okay!!! who wants to know how much i suck at my intervensi...xD
well at least i got A for phys, chem, eng, moral, lit
the rest are C's n B's i think....ahhh...watever...
screw you exams!!!!!

actually...i'm very hungry right now...
and i'm just happy i dont have school today...go figure...who isn't...

gosh...i'm in no mood to blog.
why do i have to do the class deco...
this is so stupid...STUPID....S-T-U-P-I-D
DOWNRIGHT POINTLESS
do you know how much WORK you have when ur in charge of the decos...
and i get less koko marks...shesh...
so stupid...
"say no to drugs"
heck yeah we know that we're supposed to do that...
and seeing it everyday in front of our faces is more irritating...
lawls...
actually i just dont wanna do the decos but i have to...
im very sick and tired of it...

SAVE THE TREES!!!!!!!!!!

okay...that was random...
how hard can it possibly e to get an A for bio damn it...
why can't i get A for bio....
it's all that pn chieng fault...
shesh.......



GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i'm going to watch Mythbuster...
i've got nothing to blog about

** Hundred and Fourteen **

gahh!!! its been FOREVER since i blogged. and to be frank right now i'm just taking some time off from all the homework i have waiting for me upstairs in my room.

its kinda sad how my long winded life is now filled with SCHOOL and more SCHOOL and nothing else but SCHOOL.
gosh it's time to start studying. my intervensi marks suck ad its only intervensi. see hwat's gonna happen when i sit for SPM.

ignore all the typos i know there are some here and there but i;m typing as fast as i can cuz 24 hours a day right now doesn seem to be enough.

well school isnt really that bad if you look at it. i love my class and my friends there. come to think of it...it's the only thing that's keepin me from going senile nowadays. unlike pn nooraini...xD

it was wednesday and last two period we're in the lab studying bio. thank god after one period the teachers had meeting n pn chieng had to go. and nowadays they'd use the bloody PA system and ask all the students to line up outside their classes and shut up before going back SYSTEMATICALLY. not like the usual everyone rushing towards to gates thing. we go class by class which is kinda stupid if you ask me.so pn nooraini goes on the PA system and goes "girls, line up outside your classes. it's time to clean up your class." first of all we clean our class on FRIDAYS and it was a WEDNESDAY. she zoomed up two days ahead.

whatever.

i was going through my CD collection the other day.
you know what. i used to worship avril. i used to love her so much. not just for her songs but how she was different from all the other famous ppl in the world. she just wore shirts n jeans and still looks awesome in them. yeah!!!
and maybe now to most of the ppl out there the new avril is way better. with her more upbeat songs that no longer scream " i'm so sick of my life ". not to mention the rise of the fanboys factor with her shortskirts and fishnets. don't get me wrong. she's just growing up. but the invasion of the pink was entirely unnecessary. the entire CD was printed pink. pink highlights. pink. PINK.
wouldnt it be weird to stick out ur tongue and scream "rock 'n' roll" and guess what ur wearing. a pink dress.
i kinda knew she'd change but truely hoped she didnt.
go figure eh?!?!?!
so here's to the old avril that has long "slipped away" and way out of reach.
shesh...

ahhhhh...whatelse did i want to say...

ah yes...

WHAT THE FUCKING HELL AM I DOING IN SCIENCE STREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

suffer with bio

strain myself with add maths

die doing moral

cope with chemistry

go senile over sejarah

struggle with physics

torture myself with bm


shit...

** Hundred and Thirteen **

i'm dying...

slowly...

quietly...

fading into nothingness...

** Hundred and Twelve **

damn. i know i haven't been updating much. and this blog can be seriously makred as D-E-A-D.

so here's my daily routine for everyday of my boring old life.

MONDAY
get out of bed wondering why monday. the morning assembly. the headmistress's yacking. all those stupid prefects. monday ends early but with a whole lot of homework usually. and i come home. pop dead on the bed after a sickening day of school. sleep til dinner time. take a shower and start with the piles of homework until 2am.

TUESDAY
i only had 4 hours of sleep and today's the longest day. i get to school. some funny shit might happen. some down right bullshit might happen. and then the homework piles up. i stay back in school til 3.30 for taekwondo and after 1hour of throwing punches and kicking the crap out of air molecules it's tuition. Sejarah. Maths. Add Maths. long excruciating hours. and all ends at 7 when i get home and eat dinner take my shower it'd be close to 9. and then i return to the piles of homework again. and more or less sleep around 2am or 3am

WEDNESDAY
need i say more. i drag myself out of bed. go to school. walk the same halls. see the same teachers. do almost the same thing. then i watch my homework pile up again. and those that i have left upon sleepiness grown even highe now dont they. the homework never seems to stop. and so school ends at 2.10pm. then i return for tuition again. Physics. Chemistry and Bio. up to 7pm again. and i get home. hungry. tired. and all i could think about was that pile of homework waiting for me at home. same as always. bed time's at 2am...3am...4am...depends on the homework

THURSDAY
this is one of the more not-so-hectic days of my life. which i just drag myself to the end of it. the hours of sleep i get doesn't really matter anymore. i no longer get my 8hours of sleep. so if you ever see a scary looking girl with really dark circles around her eyes dragging herself as she goes. that's me. school ends at 2.10pm today. and i get home to do more homework. well then it's dance class at 7.30 to 8.30. and back home. shower. breathe. homework. sleep.

FRIDAY
it's the end of the week. well not if i have school tomorrow. school ends early. everyone rushes home. and i rush to tuition again. English and Bm. and it's up to 7 again. long excruciating hours. extremely long. and i'm starving half the time sitting there. and counting down the seconds to going home. then it's back to home. dinner and shower. and time to drown in all that homework again.


believe me when i say this. i am not exagerating on homework. neither do i procrastinate. im trying hard not to. i'd be dead if i did procrastinate. seriously in deep waters if i do.

so here's me.

trying to cope with everything and nothing.

going through the motion.



GOD. HELP ME.

** Hundred and Eleven **

i'm back from Johor. and still i have my piles of homework waiting for me. and what's worst, i can't find my tatabahasa book!!!!! damn it. but now i've gave up looking for it cuz i have no idea where i put it. wait. i know where i put it. it's in that stack of books i had beside my table before i left for Johor. and now it's not there. i checked my bag and all the stacks of text books down stairs and no it isn't there. so i haven't got a clue where it is. worst comes to worst i'll just lend someone's book photocopy what i need and redo everything. since she hasn't marked the book yet.

my phone bill. my phone bill. la la la la.

well i hid my phone somewhere now. don't know where it is. seriously. how the hell do you hide your own stuff and not being able to find it. so going back to Johor was more or less just for the sake of red packets and stalking my nephew and nieces. they're so adorable!!! why wouldnt i stalk them. it's not like i have anything to say to my cousins i have nothing in common with but our DNA. it's unlikely i'm gonna strike up a conversation.
"Hi cousin."
"Hi."
"How awesome right?!"
"What's so awesome?"
"How we share the same DNA."
"Hardly."
what a lame conversation.

i finished my add maths intervensi paper yesterday. bloody functions so damn stupid. and when i finished i was like what?!?!?! 13 questions ONLY?!?!.

i can't tell you how extremely excited i am. i'm so excited i'm not even bothered to open my red packets. yeah. that's how excited i am.blahh!!!!!

i don't know whether to be excited to be going back to school and Tuesday. or just dreaded to be doing so.

doujin.
homework.
doujin.
homework.
eat.
homework.
blog.
homework.
sleep.
eat.
school.
homework.

damnation.

WTF is wrong with 2009.

** Hundred and Ten **

i am trying very hard to keep my sanity. attempting to prevent from going senile. i've been tried out for the first 3 weeks of January. thinking the week holiday for CNY's gonna get rid of all the sleepless nights i had completing my homework. and it's only been 3 days i am still tired. splitting headaches. and i find myself reluctant to take panadol even if it does hurt. even if it does feel like my brain's gonna melt and my neurons are aimlessly traveling in my sistem short circuiting everything else. in other words. i'm malfunctioning.

i know. CNY. supposed to be happy and joyous and all the fun stuff in the world. but i'm too tired. too sleepy. too dead. too much in pain to have fun. i'm gonna start screaming at everyone soon. if i dont do something about it. heck. i can't do anything about it. my sms has reached 1.2k within the 3 weeks and my dad almost killed me for last month's bill of 2k smses. so yes. i am killing myself.

i am off to johor tomorrow. and will not be blogging until saturday. unless i decide to use my phone. which is unlikely. restriction doesn't work for me. yeah. as tempremental as i am. being a girl just made EVERYTHING worst. i don't need to explain. argh. i've got to pack now. feeling so fucking dead. even my fingers are slipping off the keys as i type. and worst we're going out for dinner tonight.

this day.

this holiday.

couldn't possibly get any worst.


peace,
rachel