** Two Hundred and Fifty Six **

Rant post cuz I have been seeing stuff like this going around facebook for wayyy to long. so just to clarify some of the trash they put on the list.

45 THINGS A GIRL WANT, BUT WON’T ASK FOR

ok assuming she is a girlfriend in this context because if she wasn't NONE of the things on this list would make any sense. then again these are my responses. doesn't necessarily have to apply to all girls.

1. Touch her waist.

Technically it doesn't matter to me whether or not you touch my waist. Not a matter of life and death.

2. Actually talk to her.

er. if you dont talk, why are you still in a relationship?!?!

3. Share secrets with her.

not to say its a matter of trust, but i think the line would've been better if it was "Never keep secrets from her". then again, some secrets are meant to be kept to yourself. like how often you fap thinking about her extremely hot bestfriend. XD

4. Give her your jacket.

Honestly. I do not like this rule that says boys are obliged to give their jackets to girls when they're cold. Even if its a gentlemanly thing to do. BITCH. If you are highly aware you're going to get cold in the cinema, bring your own fucking jacket. I dont think the guy who brought a jacket to the cinema brought it just for show.

5. Kiss her slowly.

dafuq is this?! how slowly would you wanna kiss?!?! i mean, just a quick peck wouldve been fine as well. =__=

6. Hug her.

Dude. she's your girlfriend. Y U NO HUG.

7. Hold her.

Isn't this the same as hugging?!

8. Laugh with her.

Again. Why would i ask you to laugh with me?!?! WHY?!?! Makes no fucking sense.

9. Invite her somewhere.

Why would ANYONE ask someone to ask themselves out?? lol. Askception.

10. Hangout with her and your friends together.

i dont find this of any relevance.

11. Smile with her.

Smile. Laugh. SAME SHIT. If you aint happy with her, why are you with her?!?!

12. Take pictures with her.

Trust me. Most girls will ask for this. =__= its called camwhoring.

13. Pull her onto your lap.

She's your girl. She'll sit on your lap whenever she wants. Unless she feels fat and that sitting on your lap might break your bones.

14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.

anddddddd~ we all love each other more. can we move on now?

15. When her friends say “I love her more than you”, deny it. Fight back and hug her tight so she can’t get to her friends. It makes her feel loved.

NO FUCKING FRIEND IN THE WORLD WOULD SAY SUCH A THING. trust me. im batman.

16. Always hug her and say I love you whenever you see her.

Didn't i read this somewhere on my way here??

17. Kiss her unexpectedly.

how many fucking times do you wanna kiss her?!?!

18. Hug her from behind around the waist.

I actually like this. =)

19. Tell her she’s beautiful.

Why havent you?!?!

20. Tell her the way you feel about her.

isn't this how you proposed?? =___=

21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car - it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.

opening doors i can pass. but walking her to the car, very much agreeable.

22. Tell her she’s your everything - only if you mean it.

If you dont mean it. why are you with her?!?!

23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her - if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT - so just hug her.

technically, she'd always deny it.

24. Make her feel loved.

repost.

25. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know!

really?? is this some show off contest now???

26. Don’t lie to her.
27. DON’T cheat on her.

Same shit no? There's a whole load of repetitive shit up in this list.

28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants.

Yeah. ANYWHERE. She wants to go to the moon. What the fuck are you going to do?!?!

29. Text message or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at school, and how much you miss her.

good morning texts from the right guy are always nice. =)

30. Be there for her whenever she needs you, and even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can always count on you.

Why are you even her boyfriend if you wont be there for her...=__= seriously...

31. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold you too.

isn't this the same as the hugging thing??

32. When you are alone hold her close and kiss her.

yeah. and we all know what happens next. *coughs*

33. Kiss her on the cheek; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).

yeah. ill kiss your cheek cuz im too lazy to make you look at me so that i can iss u directly and you'll magically know i want to kiss you. seems legit.

34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly

.
i dont see how this scene works. her head is on your shoulder. how the fuck do you lean in?!?!?! =___=

35. Don’t ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If she’s upset, comfort her.

if she cant take a joke, she sucks.

36. When people diss her, stand up for her.

technically if she's the one who started it, fight your own battles bitch.

37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.

ok. if you dont look at her and tell her you love her, then how do you tell her you love her??? =_____=

38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.

whisper what?!?!

39. When walking next to each other grab her hand.

you do know that grab means to grasp or seize suddenly and roughly...i think id get freaked out if the guy im dating grabs my hand. XD

40. When you hug her, hold her in your arms as long as possible.

Ya...ya... ok....lots of hugging and holding... moving on...

41. Call or text her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.

It is your duty as her boyfriend. No questions asked.

43. Take her for long walks at night.

Curfew.

44. Always remind her how much you love her.

Yeah. she has short term memory loss you see. Needs to be reminded like every 5 seconds.

45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while you’re sitting on her.

DAFUQ DID I JUST READ.


_____________________________________________________

on the side note. rather relived i settled applications for NTU and LaSalle. =) I still have a couple more to go. still. progress is progress.
seriously. everytime i watch skate videos i do not feel motivated or rather im demotivated. i know. cant stand people being better than me. XD go figure.
oh well. continue practicing. will get there soon. andddd when i get there there'll be ppl who are wayyy better than me then as well. goddamnit.

BA BA BAAAA BABANANA~
BA BA BAAAA BABANANA~
POTATOOOOOOOOOOO~<3

Toddles,
Rach

** Two Hundred and Fifty Five **

If life was easy, where would all the adventures be?

I figured today when i opened my blog that it was a really good idea to put this on the side as my profile description. honestly life has never been easy. coming from a straight As' student to a C average student is something i got used to during my time at TARC. Not that i didnt put effort into my studies. rather reminiscing about the times i had in TARC. company i had there was great. but that period of 1.5years there was a big confidence let down.

As far as im concerned my current results for my A-Levels will not land me a scholarship. Not that i am not bothered to give it hope. there wasnt any hope to give anyway. i am highly aware there are people out there who would apply for the same scholarship and have straight A* for their A-Levels. I dont have a single A. if you might just be wondering. sometimes i worry that my grade wouldnt make the minimum grade requirement. and even with a strong portfolio they wouldnt take me in.

these few days preparing for applications and writing personal statements made me realize i have big dreams and my results might just put a stop to that. and i couldnt understand why. i am going into an art related course. not that im dumb beyond reasons. i am just...

And all this preparation got my slacking on my training. im like...god i suck. literally.

i feel like facedesking.

gotta gradually step my training up again. i've been through harder things in life.

I GOT THIS!!

** Two Hundred and Fifty Four **

I have officially run out of things to blog lately. I dont really plan on enlightening my fellow readers on the boring stuff i do everyday as i literally park myself on my bed in front of the laptop most of the time and well, that's about it.

So my sister is off to singapore on her 4years scholarship studying in MGS. All expense paid with an extra 200SGD for allowance. Noneotherless i am happy for her. she's off to a better start than i am.

And i'm stuck here. With people my parents know asking on and off. Wondering why am i still here. i wonder the same thing too. sometimes i wonder what i lack. why was it so hard for me to get myself a measly scholarship. and here i have people tell me im talented and shit (not boasting. not complaining). i guess talent gets you nowhere in life. but it's not like i lack brains (or maybe i do). i figured after so long studying, the only people that get scholarships are those that achieve way above average results. and technically i am not one of them. either my sister is one of them or the people in her batch are just plain dumb (lol).

My results are coming soon. and when that happens my parents would be bugging me even more about applications for universities again. somehow or rather its just my low self esteem, every time i apply for anything i feel as if i am not good enough. heck! i dont have enough self esteem to even write my own personal statement. i know right?! the same girl that people see walking head held high, not giving a damn what people say, has self esteem issues. go figure.

not to boast about myself being too skinny. but i used to be underweight but not exactly skinny like skins and bones kind. after the CNY shoot i had with Kaze and Takkun, i kinda realized. shit! this is scary. i look close to anorexic. so i figured i should ATTEMPT to gain some mass (according to kaze). i'm not those girls who pride on being super skinny. rather im those who couldnt care less. plus, i dont even know where and when i lost the mass i had!! or maybe skating makes you skinnier. EVERYBODY SKATE!!! =D

even as things have ended between us. i find myself wishing it didnt at some point in time. though things have cooled down between us. let me get this straight. we are close. very. i did not claim ownership of him anymore. he's free to mingle if he wishes i have no right to hold him down. what wrong is there to lean on him when im tired. he is still my bestfriend whether you guys like it or not. what wrong is there sitting next to him watching cartoons on his psp. we still care for one another. have fun 9GAGing together and talking bout 9GAG.

i wonder who made the rule that says, you have to be a couple before you can use a guy's shoulder.


sometimes i feel like an attention seek whore. LOLed.

And i checked my stats for my blog. heck!! i have readers on the other side of the globe!! *le proud* =3

toodles darlings,
Rach.

** Two Hundred and Fifty Three **

Looking back. I've been bit crazy these past few days. Yea. Well. I'm officially single again. After god knows how long.

I guess the first day was the hardest. I cried my eyes out the night before. Around 7pm-4am(?). Then i finally went to sleep. I woke up that morning. Cried again. I find it funny now that I'm typing it. Of how much i cried that its over. I woke up with my eyes swollen. I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself I had to let go. I went on with my day, crying most of it. Trying to keep my head intact and study. Surprised how i pulled myself together to study on the first day. Though my mind kept going elsewhere (if you know what i mean). It was a day i realized i had nothing to do on the internet. MSN didnt serve a purpose. Neither did facebook.

Then i had a sudden craving for Snowflake. Ugh. I still do. Gosh. I want Taro Balls.

I cried again going to bed on day one. Yea. Cry. Cry. Cry.

I probably got some people worried. My deepest apologies. At some point during that time I really felt like i was going to go insane. Wanting to kill myself and shit. Now i laugh at my stupidity.

But honestly. Being strong is never easy.

And funny how my sister only found out yesterday (which was day two). Maybe she's just oblivious to the fact that we finally ended. XD she thought we fought.

Then i came to realize how couple dont talk to each other anymore after they split. Why? I mean. You've spent so much time with the other person. You've shared practically everything you know and experienced with them. Heck. You guys know each other so well. And everyone just decides to throw that relationship away just because these two people are no longer a couple. At what cause, i do not know.

Some things in life cannot be faced alone. And even as you have friends to support you and cheer you up and knock some sense into your somewhat delusional brain as you're going through this emotional distress. I dont know. Maybe its cuz most of my friends are too busy with exams and such (foreveralone) XD. I dont want to bother them with my problems. I mean. I dont go around telling people i just got out of a relationship to acquire some pity. They know. They see it on facebook. Its their choice to come to me at my time of need. And I truely am greatful i have such friends. Though they are of minority. <3 you guys.

Ok. What was i saying. XD. Oh. Ok. Not talking. I dont know. Maybe its just who i am. I value my friends. More than i should sometimes. Everyone should. ^^. And to throw away such a bond just because we're not meant to be together is stupid. Yea. It probably doesnt help with the letting go part of breaking up. But to immediately stop talking after breaking up is like such a drastic change into life. If you can handle it fine. Most of the time, no. Yes. I still talk to him. Heck. it might slow down the letting go process. But he's my best friend ^^. Come to think of it, We hit it off so fast we never got to becoming friends. XD.

Yea. I bid au revoir to Good morning texts. Staying up webcaming. Taking 5minutes every night just to say good night and sing off. Waiting for you to come online. And all the other weird stuff you do. XD. But, even as our relationship ended, we can always make a new one. ^^. Its like turning over a new leaf. =D Ok. I just lost my train of thought.

Letting go is never an easy thing to do. =)
_____________________________________________________________

OK. Next thing to blog. (im so organized XD)

Yesterday Elie texted me and said :

" Rach. My fren here saw ur blog thru google and liked it a lot then she started stalk you. Suddenly, she saw my pic and excitedly came to me and said 'elie how come you know my idol' lol "

Kinda makes me wonder what is there to idolize about me. XD

OK. First of all. I dont see myself as an internet idol like some people. Yea. Ok. I have a fanpage on facebook with 445 likes. So?

Honestly internet fame means nothing to me. Heh. But if people want to idolize me its fine really. Your choice. Not going to sue you for it. ^^

Maybe i look too lowly of myself that i dont see anything worth idolizing about. XD Unless i have a serious case of narcissism.

So whoever you are idolizing me, why idolize in the shadows...=3

Lets be friends (lol ok corny much?)


Seriously.
______________________________________________________________

Ah. This made my day yesterday. OwO

I got a phone call from some lady from the booth on studying in uk during edu fair which i gave my details to. She called me telling me the Head of Coventry University would be in her office on Thursday (yes tomorrow) and whether I'd be free to meet up.

HAPPIEST SHIT EVER!!!

I'd be going there to meet him i guess. (there goes my skate session)
Though this was somewhat awesome news for me. Usually you'd run and tell your parents bout it. At some point, I wanted not to tell them at all.

So i went to check out the University. ILLUSTRATION AND ANIMATION!!!
Unbelievable how happy i was. Most of the Universities offer Animation alone and moreover some split animation into few more other branches @_@.

I told my parents during dinner i was going to meet up with the head and stuff. My dad asked what university was it. I told.

Ok. First of all. I didn't get like "oh, thats good." or any of those shit.

And my dad went, "But its not the university you want to go to."

FUCK CARES IF ITS NOT. To me it was one step closer to what i wanted to do.

And my dad continued, "Take it as a practice la. It doesnt matter whether you get or not since its not the u you want."

Seriously dad?! SERIOUSLY?!?!

It doesnt matter whether i get it or not?! Heck. Coventry University has scholarships with requirement of BBC for A levels or equivalent. Which is possible for me. Half the universities dont have scholarships for international students. Unless i'm some genius with all A*.

Doesnt matter whether i get it or not.

Dad. I dont think you understand how much this opportunity means to me. even if its not the university I want.

How can you tell me it doesn matter?!?! ='(
______________________________________________________________

Ok. Thats all. ^^

I'm going to continue studying now. =3

Love,
Rach

** Two Hundred and Fifty Two **

OK. I had to blog today. For some reason. LOLed.
I just started my A2 Exams. Finished P3 Maths!!! Woot!! =D seven more papers to go~ After that i'm freeeeeeeee~

OK. back to the main purpose of why i wanted to blog. i'm just going to enlighten you all with two random events that happened to me.

________________________________________________________
27 October 2011 [ After skating ]

I had to rush home cuz well mum asked me to come home early cuz tomorrow i have exams. hence, i did. I was being a good civilian minding my own business lined up at the traffic light going home. I know a lot of assholes (forgive my language) cut line at this traffic light when the line gets too long. Honestly I dont understand why cant they just freaking line up.

So this lady in a silver proton edged her bumper in front of my car obviously attempting to cut in when it turns green. Im sorry lady. This is MY turf. MY traffic light. And i aint letting you cut into my line!! So i edged forward. Then she looked at me like, "WHY THE EFF DID U DO THAT FOR?!?! D< " and she edged her car some more. I kept edging and she kept edging. Heck there's still plenty of space for me to edge im not really bothered. Then it happened.

SHE HIT THE CURB!!!

AND I WAS LIKE TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL~



And the lady came down from her car and knocked on my window asking me to wind it down. I did. So here's our "arguement" :

MakCik : AH MOI!!! LU TAK NAMPAK KAH I MAU MASUK!!! TAK TAU BAGI LALU AR?!

Me : Makcik, tak yah nak marah marah, I tak salah pun.

MakCik : APA LU TAK SALAH!!! LU TAK BAGI LALU!! KRETA I DAH ROSAK!!

Me : Makcik, u laggar sikit je. u tak check pun camne tau damage besar ke tak.

MakCik : LU JGN NAK PANDAI PANDAI NGAN I. I TAU ROSAK. DAN ITU SALAH U. JPJ TAK AJAR KE? DAH SALAH KENA BAYAR GANTI!!


Me : Makcik, tgk semua org beratur kat traffic light ni. susah sgt ke nak beratur makcik? Mmg jpj ajar salah kena bayar tapi i tak salah pun dlm situasi ini.

MakCik : I TAK TAU LA CAMNE JPJ BAGI LESEN LESEN TUK PEMUDA!! LU BARU P LESEN!! NAK GADUH NGAN I YG DAH BERTAHUN-TAHUN MEMANDU.

Me : MakCik, camne i dpt lesen u leh gi tanya lah jpj. undang i dapat 49/50. mmg betul kata makcik, i baru p lesen walaubagaimanapun i p lesen pun tau beratur kat traffic light apatah lagi makcik.

MakCik : AMBOIIIIIII AH MOI IN KURANG AJAR BETUL~ TAK MAU BAYAR YEH!! I REPORT U!!

Me : Makcik, u nak report apa?! Situasi ni makcik salah tau. Makcik langgar curb tu. Makcik kena bayar ganti tuk curb tu. Apasal makcik tarik i masuk masalah makcik ngan curb tu.


MakCik : *stoned*

Then I was waiting for her reply. Traffic light turned green.

Me : Makcik, lampu dah hijau. u cepat settle ngan curb tu. nanti traffic jam susah.



Whee~ and that was last night =3
______________________________________________________

28 October 2011 [ After Maths Paper ]

So, a little self rewarding never hurt anyone. I went to the Kepong Court to skate. IKR damn hot oso go skate. Crazy bugger. Anyhow, so i went there mind my own business put my cones etc etc etc.

I was training halfway and well, its a park, its not unusual people walk by or sit on a bench. So this guy (who i assumed at that moment was talking a stroll) he walked pass the court and then took a seat at the bench under the tree facing the court. Not something out of the ordinary. I mean ive seen people sit there all the time while i train at the court.

Then i had this feeling (call it a 6th sense or whatever) that someone was watching. Not watching like "oh ok some crazy girl is skating in the hot sun" kinda watching. Its the kind of watching like "im gonna rape this person" kinda watching. I stopped to look around. Yeah ok bangla person on the phone. bangla person sweeping rubbish. and the guy at the bench.

Surprisingly the man on the bench was the last guy i suspected (talk about racist LOL). I went through the cones a few more times. I was looking at the man at the bench. not that he was sitting on the bench resting minding his own business. he was actually staring at me. I dont know. Maybe i just had this vibe it was safer for me to leave cuz he seemed to have been staring from the moment he sat down.

I decided to pack up and leave. I trust my instincts.

I skated to my car. (maybe it was a good n bad thing my car was near) Got in. Locked the door. (good to be paranoid sometimes)

OK so the man moved himself from the bench to the stairs.

I was unbuckling my skates. As my sight travelled to the back of the car to get my shoes I saw. I know what i saw. He was flicking his thingy thing thing. even the bangla cleaners saw and went "tgk apa dia buat tu?!"

And i was like...


Act like he's not there~ I saw nothing~ lalalala~ OMG my socks stinks~ Ahhh~ hot hot~
Why weather so hot~ i think im going to get sunburned~ tralalalala~ im hungry~

And after my changed my shoe. I drove off.

Here's a diagram: ^^V


boooo~ i had only 1hour+ of training...=(

___________________________________________________________

AND NOW IM HOME!!!! SAFE AND SOUND IN MY ROOM!!! =D


TODDLES,
Rach~

** Two Hundred and Fity One **

RUSSIAN SPIES ARE READING MY BLOGG!!!! (loled)
seriously tho...i have the most number of views from Malaysians followed by Russians...why...i do not know...XD

I'll put my wishlist at the bottom since a few of u ppl came asking what i wanted. OwO

I'm going to be sitting for A2 in two weeks time? im so relaxed besides the fact that this exam might determine whether i go overseas or not.

i dont really have much to blog about. havent been going to class for the past few weeks and i probably need to rewind my sleeping schedule again or else im going to have problems getting up on my exam day.

i wonder if i lost weight lately. Since i skip breakfast and lunch...sometimes dont even have dinner...maybe survive on a bag of chips...XD

life has been dull. im such a boring person. XD

oh well, imma go find something to do. just here to revive the blog a bit.

______________________________________________________________________

Birthday Wishlist :

1. Strength Nendriod



2. Dead Master Nendriod


3. Black Gold Saw Nendriod


4. Usagi Headbandsssss


5. Rilakkuma Plushie


6. Hoodie (even if i have so many already i still want one)


u dont really need to get me the stuff i listed...half the time nobody does...XD
anything u get me is fine really ^^

toodles,
Rach

** Two Hundred and Fifty **

Its been a while.

I'm sorry but this is going to be one of those super long blog posts about stuff most people dont really give a damn about.

So if you're not up for the reading. You may close the tab.




I started skating 3months ago. I used to skate and then i stopped. My A level's exams are a month away. honestly speaking, i am doing what i can to bring up my grades. but sometimes i dont understand how some of my classmates can actually study day and night.
honestly, i am not that kind of person.

But after dinner, i realize my parents somewhat expect me to turn into that kind of person.

I love skating. And since i hardly have any time to draw or for a matter, a fact, to get inspired with all this shit A Levels have been giving me, i turn to skating to provide me an escape from all this...nonsense.

To say i am not putting enough effort in my A levels is a lie. I am doing what i can. My brain capacity goes only this far. HOw much more brilliant do you expect me to be. I am sorry i cannot bring back straight As' like i used to for UPSR, PMR and SPM.

I cried cracking my brain trying to understand Mechanics for my trials. I dont understand. I kept reading. I dont even know what I'm reading. How am i to do the questions?!

I'm not some crazy ass robot that sits there facing the book 24 7.

Skating and the people that surround me became my refuge.

Maybe its just me. But my parents never seem to understand what i do and why i do it. Its not like i skate all the time and neglect my studies. But my dad puts things as if i'd rather skate than do well for my A levels. Somehow my parents, especially my dad, only likes it when i come back with straight As'.

I cant.

I told my parents there is a competition this weekend. I wanna go and win. Get myself cash for new wheels. And my mum says, "Dont need compete la...i give u the money."

I'm sorry. But what kind of "encouragement" is that?! and my dad goes on about how i keep skating and how i'm willing to jeopardize my chances of going to UK just to skate. I told them, they cant expect me to go to college study, come home study, after dinner study. I'm only human. Then my mum adds that most of the time im on the computer. I told her, my past year papers are online.

I'm sorry if i made it seem like i couldnt careless about how i do for my coming A Levels. But i really am doing what i can.

My dad tells me i can do whatever i want after my exams. And this is what's going to happen. They'd have the holiday planned. And i cant get out of it even if i wanted to. So how is that being able to do anything i want.

I hate A Levels. I am doing it because my dad wouldnt let me go into diploma.

I dont know where is this going. But i just needed to let it out.

I'm not complaining.

I wanted to bring something back during inter-college. Probably to show my parents that i'm not wasting my time skating. Go figure i came back with a bruise on my face which made them even more disapprove of me skating.

HOnestly i hate it when my parents do this to me. They say i dont listen to them.

Then again. WHat i have to say has no value to them.


You know what it feels like right now?

I feel stupid. For not being able to even uphold a freaking scholarship in TARCollege. And its just a 60% average. For not being able to score a scholarship with my SPM results. And my sister, PMR, has a scholarship to Singapore.

I'm happy for my sister. <3

I feel like the problem child nobody wants. I feel like i shouldnt be here.

I may be proud of how different i am and can be. But my parents dont seem to care. As long as i dont bring back the As'. They dont seem to acknowledge anything else. I dont have a high IQ like Andrew. This is a far as my brain can go.



Unbelievable how it took me 18years to realize this now.

My parents are only proud IF AND ONLY IF i bring back straight As'.

Anything else that doesnt have anything to do with As'. They dont give a damn.








I want to make them proud.




But its way beyond my capabilities.






kthxbye.