** Hundred and Twenty Three **

INTERVENSI IS DONEEE!!!!!!
gosh i don't know why i'm rejoicing but i just am...xD
well if i dont fail sejarah it's good enough
cuz i didnt even manage to write ANY of my essay
i dont even know what to crap weiiii....T^T

well math's was awesome as usual...
though i did a few stupid mistakes...
its normal..not like i want to get 100 for it
lets see if i can get at least B for Bio...
though i kinda screwed that paper up...
i really don't get bio...its so stupid

here's how i'd answer bio questions...
1. what is the definition of defaecate?
Shitting
2. describe the process of defaecation.
Eat the food. Food gets digested. And you release it when you need to.
And remember to flush and wash your hands.
3. what is the cause of constipation?
You don't eat your veggies when your parents ask you to. That's why la...
4. what are the effects of constipation?
Well you can't shit properly cuz ur shit won't come out. Leads to crying and some
terrible unbearable stomache.
5. what are your advices to someone who suffers from constipation?
Use more force and shit the damn thing out. You'll feel better after that.
Either that or you end up somewhere else.

Fuhhh...full marks...xD

owh and i made my own chemical equation during moral...
i had LOADS of extra time...

rachanoic acid + rachanol --> rachylrachanoate + water

how cools is that!!!!
i'm an ester!!! XD
well then i tried to write with my left hand to pass the time...
thrust me, you DON'T want to see it
it's just a bunch of squigly lines
then i tried writing with both
and i got confused after a while

i saw this gecko picture on the national geographic magazine
so adorable...
so i brought it to school along with my designated sketch book
i have A LOT of sketch books okay...xD
i was sketching it while waiting for ELS to start
LIT. SOC. is now ENG LANG SOC [ELS]
it was breezy so i didn't mind sitting outside the english room
i like how everyone just ignores my existance
well so i was doing my gecko...

then shangeeth and farzy were corrupting everyone else
with the PhD issue...
making chemical equations and stuff
chemical properties...
disgusting people...xD
then we played 007 piak! aiyak!
lawls...if you're not from the gang of ours i don't think u'll even know
we used to play all kinds of stupid games
come to think of it
i used to play batu seremban...
i still have them...i could play with both hands last time
i don't think i can now...
skills have faded. xD

then i went to tuition.
I GOT SCOLDED BY THE BIO TEACHER!!!!!!
gosh do all bio teachers hate me...xD
well i wasn't paying attention and making so much noise
obviously i got scolded
she went, "if you can't absorb anymore i allow you to go home now."
"you're disturbing the class and my concentration."
truely i am...
but what teacher's never realize is...

if your teaching was ANYTHING but interesting...
don't you think i'd be listening?!?!

no wonder i'm struggling with bio

OU!! OU!!
guess what i dropped bio...
literally i dropped bio...
heh...
i dropped my bio refference book...
i dropped bio...xD
i dropped moral too...
yeah i dropped the damn book!!!

okay...
enough with the spur of glee and happiness...
i'm just happy for one thing though...
last year i really though my chemistry was going down the drain...
so...

THANK YOU PN GRACE!!!!!!


love,
Rach



this sounds so wrong...
thanks to shangeeth's corruption today...

(10:04 PM) Hao: shit la... i fkin screwd car today
zzz
i dunno why.. all of a sudden
(10:04 PM) i-papercut-me.bl: why the hell did u go and screw the car?!?!
(10:04 PM) Hao: nvr push stick further in
den the car shake shake shake shake
i was like wtf
zzz

gosh...xD
too much concentrated sulphuric acid...

** Hundred and Twenty Two **

i feel so happy today

gosh...i wonder why...

i'll tell you!!!! XD

well today Apple jie was ONLINE!!!!

gosh it's been like ages since i talked to her since

she left malaysia

Apple's now teaching in the UK

for all you peeps who don't know...

well that wasn't what i was exstatic about

one of her students there showed her

my webpage on DA!!!!

and she told them she knew me

and they started planning a school trip to malaysia

so that she could take them to meet me!!!

*cheh..perasan pulak*

well then again...i don't really consider my art like awesome...

it's kinda shitty really...xD

but i have fans in the UK!!!!

do you?!?!?!?!!?

*hidung kembang dah....*

but...the down side was...

they all thought i was like 10 or 11 years old

T^T

kay...next thing...

CONGRATULATIONS JOSHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah..the one and only joshua got his CD out and running

well i don't know whether it'll be released to public

but guess what...i got the autographed one!!!

wakakakakakaka

i'll sell it on e-bay once he gets famous!!!!

$$$$$$

well...josh u better work hard this time...

don't go haywired again

i slap you ar if u screw this up!!!

i really will

there was like ceramah for the whole day practically

and i did my lisan today!!!!

yeah it's a great thing okay....

well i never liked the sunway college people

therefore i aint going there!!! xD

besides yee wei's going there

i don't think i want to see my cousin for the entire duration i'm around campus

okay anyway

i was kinda happy with myself today

i ate PEDAS!!!!

one day dont eat cannot

i'm like addicted to it or something

*slaps forehead* what am i talking about

I AM ADDICTED TO IT!!!!

woots...

cuz its so awesome

but today's one i put 3 spoons and i finish the soup

conclusion:

it's not spicy at all

cuz usually when i eat i'll be like crying at the first sip

so i should've put 4 spoons...xD

then my intestines feel like it's burning

i feel like a dragon!!! xD

hahaha...

okay okay...

over happiness...

love ya~

rach

** Hundred and Twenty One **

gosh intervensi is like next week.
and then after that is diagnostic.
rachel kong.
WTF are you doing in science stream
when you're gonna end up doing art&design.
WTF are you doing in science stream
when you're going to end up doing something out of the sciences.
gosh.
WTF am i doing man....

okay. i need to study soon.
my biology is in ICU already.
so is my add math if i dont do anything about it.

GAHHH...
i haven't done my moral project as well
and it needs to be handed in before diagnostic

i shall only sleep when i need to
i shall drown myself every second of the day
gosh....
i need a break from all this damn it
it seems to just get worst day by day
and yet some ppl say tomorrow's better than today
heck
everyday seems to just get worst

and right now i've started procrastinating on my work
which technically is not good
so i find myself trying to decide whether to be sleepy and do my work
and drag my feet to school tomorrow like a zombie
or have the rest i need and not completing my work
and rush my work at school or find ways to get out of it
gosh...

so yeah i have to decide what i'm gonna do soon
well if i don't
i'd just do form6
but right now even form 6 is scary damn it
everything's scary after form5
i'd rather keep sitting for SPM

well i was VERY agitated yesterday...
some people just don't realize the importance of privacy
cuz they just can't help but stick their FUCKING nose into everything single thing
shesh...



well i'm off to finish my work.
i went senile the week i lost my beloved sketch book.
whoever took it...
you better hope i don't find you...
you useless piece of shit...

peace~

** Hundred and Twenty **

i really don't know what i am doing anymore. seems as if i'm fighting a battle where the odd are almost against me. as if i was in this world for the first time. everything seems so alien to me.

i have ran out of alphabets for today. life just never seemed the same as it was during the holidays.

no. i do not feel the heat of SPM.

study like crazy.

i wonder why.

i do feel like a mess right now.

like nothing seems to make sense. like some add math question that seems impossible to solve when the answer's just staring me right in the face.
like some essay question i know nothing of when in fact everything is up there, just nothing's coming out.
like a simple puzzle given in my hand but i took one big winding turn to get the solution when there was just a straight road to it.

nothing.

** Hundred and Nineteen **

woots!!!
today i shall sleep early cuz for the past few days i've been cramping the night doing countless homework. like some immense shit weii. i was writing until my hands were trembling when i hold the pencil. okay. i said that yesterday already.

WOOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
today we took class pictures. well i spent most of my day out of class. doing nothing really. i dont see the point of me missing class today. gosh. i sound like a nerd. but yeah. it was an utter waste of time. but 5SC1's picture this years was just AWESOME! heck!! check the dictionary...under AWESOME you'd see 5SC1...xD perasannya...i think i got darker today as well...shesh...i need to be fair again. i hate being sunburnt.

well then i had to stay back and miss lit soc for some practise for the demo thingy. which was another utter waste of time. gosh. i'm wasting a lot of time today. i peeled my lips today...obviously it bleeded.
that HUGE ulcer i got from chewing bubblegum and countlessly biting myself is recovering. THANK GOD!!!! it was so FREAKISHLY HUGE and it hurt so much. imagine what a hastle it is have this HUGE ulcer in the front and you have to eat?! even the slightest touch hurts like hell...


i no longer post my long LONG LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG post okay...
you people complain i talk too much...shesh...

time to study rachel...
SPM coming...

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! *dies*

** Hundred and Eighteen **

honestly ACGC was a total BORE...
like what the hell did i do there but sit there and crap with a bunch of people i randomly met...
even the figurines didn't interest me...damn it
this is the first event i spent under 50bucks at...
well technically i dont spend money on the doujins unless really find something i like...other than that everyone is selling practically the same thing everyone else is selling...xD

woots!!! look what i found!!!!
xD xD
yeah...yeah...
we were all DEAD bored...
and i have like MASSIVE HAIR LOSS damn it...
it's like every 5 seconds 2-3 strands will come off...



darn i'm retarded yeah i know...xD
you know what...
i just spent 7 hours on my bio notes yesterday
wrote til my hands were trembling
and guess what!!!!
she didn't even check today
how FUCKED up is that man...
so i still can't feel my hand today
and i'm extremely exhausted...
gosh...
it's bad enough i have less sleep yesterday

WHERE THE HELL RAMYA A/P BALACHANDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'M WAITING IN FRONT OF THE COMPUTER FOR HER TO COME ONLINE!!!!!!!
WASTING PRECIOUS SLEEP TIME!!!!
RAMYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
FASTER LA....

** Hundred and Seventeen **

you all wanted to read right?!?! here's my commonwealth essay i never handed in.

The match

It burns and gives light, heat, warmth, joy. Slowly it skulks, nearer and nearer. And when it’s time to let go, you’ve gone profoundly attached to it; it stings, burns, and hurts. At that moment, regret feeds on your very soul. Wishing you’d let go earlier when it’d hurt less? But now it’s too late. The ecstasy it gave is gone, faded into ash. Nevertheless, you’re still here.
I blow out the candles tonight and scale up those long winding flights of stairs; resilient. This is not the beginning of an end, but the end of a beginning. For my master, I waited outside for him to brace himself for what he’d be coming up against today. I know not of what his plans are but I have to be there. I must. Those carefully detailed doors coated with dashes of gold and silver faintly opened as my master slink out. Quietly I followed behind him; there isn’t room for conversations.
My master clears his throat. "It’s raining." His voice seems to drift into the droplets of rain against the glass. I keep unvoiced; afraid to articulate. My eyes go nowhere but my sweaty palms are now clutched into a fist on my lap, nervously gripping parts of my pants. "Hey, are you alright?" Maybe he’d notice how jumpy I am. Something I have always failed to hide, my emotions. I’m an open book. And even with the chilly winds that come with the rain, I felt temperate when his palm faintly touched my anxious hands. "Hey, are you alright?" He looked out at the downpour. "If you’re not feeling so good you don’t have to come, you know?"
I’d wonder where my voice went, or how I couldn’t move, but that’s all too adapted already. "HEY!!!" He shook me by my shoulders; I floated along with it motionlessly. He gave up, slouched back into his seat and crossed his arms, gazing through the pane. When I finally found my voice, it was time to go. Bullfights. I never liked going to these events; I hated them. A pointless match between man and beast to prove who’s mightier. I trailed after my master through the crowds of people, feeling very lost. I watched him wave to one of the other matadors and is returned with one. I stand by him as they talk of the rain effecting today’s big occasion. "It’s your day today man." One of them gave him a pat on the back. Somehow standing here looking at my feet and the mud, if my master wasn’t scared, I am. He let out a laugh confidently. "I can do it. Rain or shine." He boasted.
I stood by him as he prepared himself. "Cheer for me, okay?" I hid my fear for him pretty well this time, and nodded excitedly. He’s like a child waiting for his first ice cream. I sat by the bench waiting for my words to come out. People get hurt doing this or even die, so, what if. "Um..." I made a sound; better than nothing. He stood in front of me, placed his hand on my head and ruffled my hair. "I know you’re worried. Don’t worry." I felt his lips touch my forehead, softly and tenderly. "I’ll come back through those gates alive." My eyes moved to meet his, I’m on autopilot. He flashed a broken smile. "Promise."

I am alone, listening to the crowd roar and moan. I heed puddles spatter and other sounds I was foreign to. I’m beginning to breakdown. My hands are sweaty and I’m grabbing my pants as if my life depended on it. The people yelled and the hooves beat against the water. I’m tingling inside that something bad is going to occur, something’s going to go wrong. I hated this feeling and pulled myself to the iron bars and observed.
I held my mouth from screaming. He was in there with the enraged bull, evading it by mere inches. He fell to the ground and what happened after that, I couldn’t find myself to put in words.

Sunlight pierced through the windows marks daylight. Carefully I opened those doors and tiptoed into the room. I peered from the edge of his bed where he lay peacefully. It’s been days he’d been resting there; I wish he’d open his eyes. The doorbells rang. I hurried up but somehow I just wanted one more glance of him, my fingers lingered on his face. "Why can’t I find the words when-" I froze; startled, his hand held mine to his face and there was that broken smile I longed for. "Um..." Why is it that that’s the only thing I could say? Hastily I pulled my hand away when one of the matadors entered. "You barely made it out alive. How are you feeling?"

The candles are lit again tonight. One by one I watch them burn and turn to wax. One should feel warmth with these scented candles and dancing flames, but all I sense is the bitterness inside. Something within me is crying out but I’ve always put my tears in hiding. I light another match and start again with those on the other side of the room. Finished with the last one, I saw him sitting by the steps of those long winding stairs; smiling. "You do know that nobody’s going to be down here." He pointed that out as he got up and put out the match before it burnt my fingers.
"I am down here." Faintly for once I heard my voice. He examined the room, paced around every corner. "So, this is where you go when you’re not with me." Silently I nodded. He smelled the scented air and approached me. "You should be resting." I have miraculously found my voice, I was no longer stuttering. My master laughed and placed his arm over my shoulder. He whispers, "You’ve been by my bedside every day since that incident."
Hearing that, I felt my cheeks burn. Being as I am, I know where I stand and though I could only dream of standing here right now like this, I know I have to do it. I lifted his arm from my shoulders and took a step away from me. I held his wrist for five more seconds before I had to let go. He stood in front of me, trying to peer through the forest of hair that hid my face. "You sat there. Slept by my side and even pulled my covers. " He said with a lot of gratitude in his voice. I blindly nodded as I had nothing else to say. I felt his hand under my chin, lifting my face. I am afraid to look at him. Every time I do my heart skips a beat and my mind tells me it is all wrong. "There they are." He smiled, gazing into my eyes. "Those captivating pair of glistering eyes I haven’t seen in a while." I know I shouldn’t resist because right now it seems like a dream come true, but I have to. I pulled his hand away from below my chin. "Master." Regrettably I spoke. His finger rested on my lips before I could continue; he shushed me. "I’m not your master. You are not my servant. "Our voices seem to grow fainter as we speak.

My heart felt as if it was about to pop right out of my chest any moment. I could feel it thumping inside. My mind keeps telling me that this is all wrong. His hands on my waist, tenderly he pulled me closer. "I made my own destiny and matched me with you." His topaz eyes danced with the flames from the candles. I couldn’t breathe anymore. I looked away, trying to evade anymore awkward feelings I already have. "Look at me." He quietly begged. "Please?" Somehow I had a chill run down my spine, like the room had suddenly grow cold and everything stood still. Indecisively I looked at him, his face more perfect than I remembered, as if it was carved by the gods. And those gorgeous locks of auburn hair. Before I could find my mind to defy him, his luscious lips were pressed against mine. His firm hands held my faded face as I stood there not knowing how to react. I no longer felt lost. "I love you."

There were silent footsteps but we didn’t hear. We were no longer on earth. "What in the-!" The shadow of a man exclaimed at the stairway. He pulled me closer as if I was the one forcing it in and I couldn’t struggle. I tried to pull away, I no longer knew what was happening but this was all going wrong. I wanted to scream, I knew where I stand and my mind is telling me, "I told you so." Then, I just found myself lying on the wooden floor. I feel cold. I held that wet spot on my shirt, soaked with the metallic scent of my blood. I did hear the trigger click and felt the bullet pierce through my chest. But the pain never came until he walked away with the pistol in his hand.

The candles burnt out tonight. The wax dripped down the corners to the floor boards below. A half opened match box laid on the table, inside leaves one lone match stick. But it no longer serves its purpose as the flames has lingered and slowly unknowingly disintegrates; hiding behind the tenderness and bliss. How can something that bring so much joy bring so much pain?

____________________________________________________________________________________

it's funny how life turns out. how somedays you feel like you're on top of the world. and some just feels like you're six feet under and no one can hear you. but what else can you possibly do when life turns around and bites you?! embrace with a smile and keep going on for there are things that'll make things worth while again. it's just a matter of when and where.

i pose a question to the girls circling the primary school hall during taekwondo practises on tuesdays. what do you intend to achieve doing such pointless acts?! yeah. yeah. i know what your intentions are but seriously...how desperate are you people. oh wait. scratch that. YOU PEOPLE ARE DESPERATE. have some dignity in yourself will you. maybe you dont realize it but because of the few byotches and desperados in St. Mary, all of us are labled like that. get a life girls and go out more often.

Ramya came over today.had to do the script for the drama competition. need i state?! obviously we crapped up one awesome script. but in that process i think i screamed and shouted on the phone too much. sore throat. shesh. anyway...we got it done...actually the initial plan was to end with some one getting killed. Pn. Judy asked for a twist. and when we gave her the idea, she said it's supposed to end morally. so go figure...no one's getting killed. and i thought we could do some awesome fight scene...xD that'll get us to win for sure...

i'm feeding the mosquitoes sitting here. but i'm back to being addicted to Love Story...somehow the fact that i'm practically suffocating everytime i sing it is very entertaining...cuz i'd try to make it anyway den i end up gasping for breath...hahahaha...

wow...it seems i'm happy today...

well i was happy yesterday too...

for once taekwondo was a whee bit laid back than it usually is. well i do screw up my pattern as usual cuz i cant remember all of it. my brain doesn't have that much memory space. but Andrianna's always there to save me...^^ i solute you andri!!! then we started goofing off and learning at the same time, me, leava and andri. we we're teaching the other two pooms koryo...yeah obviously they like that pattern. so did i when i first learnt it. it was like..."COOOLLL!!! I GET TO CHOKE AIR!!!" well then Benjamin [canadian sir] came aksing whether we were practising or goofing off. crap la crap...typical st marians right..pro crappers. obviously we said we were doing both at the same time.

nobody accuse me of liking Benjamin. i'll stranggle you.

andri and i were doing sparring. aiya...one step nia...like one stupid liddat. hahaha poor andri had to drop down and do five for not shouting. well all of them did. you know i find disturbing...people laughing around me and i dont know what they're laughing at or for. yeah. i'm a bit KPC. i oso want to laugh what...
so Benjamin sir came chuckling behind me and andri, well andri was facing him...and i ask "what"...he shake his head and walk away!. COME BACK HERE AND TELL ME WHATCHU LAUGHING AT!!!!!!!!!! i tak boleh tahan....ishhh..

____________________________________________________________________________________

TO ALL PENDUDUK OF KAMPUNG SEMANGAT

honestly, i can't remember the last time we said "SEMANGAT" as a class. i can't remeber us doing "FEELING" or calling each other "KUNDEJEMS". we are still a class but i seem to feel as if our semangat we had last year has slowly faded into homework, school and the hype of SPM. we no longer go crazy like we always do on a daily basis. maybe that's cuz our coconut tree outside the window is no longer there.
i miss the days we'd get too noisy for anyone to control. and the days someone will just say something stupid to get everyone laughing til we can no longer laugh anymore. til our stomachs hurt. maybe some of you migght say we're still as close as we are when we were choral speaking. but somehow we're slowly, quietly drifting apart like some pathogen is here to break up our ionic bonds. some of us at least.
what happened to the days we'd impersonate russell peters. what happened to the days we'd worship the M&M box. WHat happened to the times we'd plan to "korbankan" Umi. what happened to the days everyone was...together...[well besides the fact that miss ng ehem ehem ehem]

you know what i want.

i want to take out our kitkat bars again. stand from the crowd and create history once more.
____________________________________________________________________________________

aiya...banyak merepek la budak ni.
ape sal...
sebab bukannya hari-hari i blog pun.
hanya ketika i free sahaja yang dapatlah peluang EMAS ni untuk blog bagi para pembaca aku merendamkan dirinye dalam kehidupan aku yang huru-hara ini.
jangan la marah i blog panjang-panjang.
tulis banyak banyak.
baca pun sakit mata...leher cam nak patah...
janganlah baca semua dlm satu hari...
sikit sikit baca la...
tak leh tahan tidur pastu baca balik...

dah...dah...mula merepek lagi...
macam kerepek...xD

aiks...^^
peace out!!! xD